Serena, athletes, and class

Venus and Serena Williams are unquestionably two of the finest tennis players ever. Athletic and strong, when focused and healthy they are almost unbeatable.

By all accounts they can be charismatic and charming. Not that these are essential qualities for what many define as “success” in sports (victories and material wealth) as the sisters are very wealthy, indeed.

But for many of us, we prefer sporting stars who are grounded, perhaps even a bit humble.

This is where one of the talented sisters hit a stumbling block recently. After losing a quarter-final match at the U.S. Open to Justine Henin, Serene was quoted as saying:

"I just think she made a lot of lucky shots and I made a lot of errors. I really don't feel like talking about it. It's like I don't want to get fined. That's the only reason I came. I can't afford to pay the fines because I keep losing."

This was not the usual comment made by players after a loss. Customarily players will at least grudgingly offer congratulations at the media conference, and at least concede that the winner played well.

So stunned was the U.S. media by Serena’s comportment at the press gathering, that many wrote stories which referred to Serena as “classless”.
Here is the rub. One the one hand, the media criticizes athletes who give pat, rehearsed, superficial answers. But at the same time, when a player steps off that line in a manner which does not please reporters, the response is often swift – and negative.

In my work with many athletes over the years it has become clear that there is a real pressure to be interesting when interviewed by the media, not to simply mouth clichés and the standard jock stuff.

Yet they all realize they are one strong opinion from being categorized in some negative manner by the media. And once an athlete has a “reputation” with the media, sometimes based on even one small incident, the issue can take on a life of its own.

One of the follies (though necessary, it seems) of the way we cover sports has always been the need to make athletes answer questions at moments of absolute frustration, immediately after a personal or team defeat. We expect them to say something of interest, but criticize them if they fall short of our imposed ideal.

Was Serena off base? Just being honest? Or both?

Would she have handled the questions a little differently if allowed to conduct the interviews a day later?

We’ll never know.

For now, it’s easy to criticize an athlete’s choice of words when they are tired and downhearted.

That said, graceful acknowledgement—even if somewhat forced and superficial—of the victor costs an athlete nothing, can enhance one’s reputation and can save a fair bit of aggravation.

Baseball just can't save itself from its own stupidity...

Baseball is a passion in Missouri, evidenced by not only the tremendous history of, and fan support for, the defending World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals but also by the continuing interest in the struggling Kansas City Royal franchise-- years past their 1985 World Series glory.

In recent years the Royals have had (relatively speaking) low payrolls and non-competitive teams.

Yet fans still go to the beautiful ballpark (formerly Kauffman Stadium, after the respected former owner of the club) that is the home of the Royals, because they love baseball and love the Royals.

Now, the Royals are trying to build with youth, and lots of it.

They recently faced a dilemma. Their first draft choice in the 2007 summertime baseball draft (second overall) is a high school player represented by Scott Boras, an agent well-known for pushing the ‘demand envelope’ for unproven players.

That’s his “job”, of course: to get as much as he can for his clients.

But it does make a person wonder what the thinking process is for the young player and his family. In this instance, we are told, according to various media reports, that the player was seeking more than 3 million dollars as a signing bonus.

Keep in mind this young man, while projected to be an outstanding pro, has played only at the high school level.

Under the terms of the Collective Bargaining Agreement, if the player is not signed by the deadline, he goes back into the draft pool for 2008, provided he attends a Junior College and not a school in the NCAA.

Presumably he would then go to college for a year, and be drafted by a team that can afford to pay him what he wants the next time around.

Sadly, we have again hit a time when the salary expectations of athletes have become simply outrageous. We see salaries in the NBA, for example, that are long-term --and absurd. In so many cases we hear, within a year of the signing, that that NBA player can’t be traded because no one wants --or can afford-- his outlandish contract.

The NHL is clearly walking down the very same path that led to a lockout only three years ago. Salaries are climbing again, and for a league that can’t get a decent TV contract south of the border—much less find any real fan support even in markets where they actually have teams—this will surely prove a recipe for future disaster, however much revenues allegedly are growing.

And then there is baseball, where the players union and Bud Selig nearly killed the game in 1994, and instead of juiced balls produced juiced players to ‘save’ the game through the later1990’s and into the current era.

This is a sport that refuses to establish a legitimate salary cap, where one team can spend 200 million to buy players and other teams such as the Royals can barely field a Triple A- caliber team.

This sport has no effective rookie salary cap to prevent the absurd request of 18 year-olds who think they are “worth” millions of dollars before they even step on a pro field.

Who will step up—a player, an agent, a family, a commissioner—and say this is insane, utterly insane?

This is not to say this young player won’t become a fine professional player. In all likelihood, he will.

But if he does become a tremendous player, he will earn his millions in due course.

If he doesn’t, why over-pay before the young man establishes legitimate market value?

Here’s hoping that young ballplayers such as the one in question, if they choose to turn down huge money after being drafted because their agent feels it isn’t “enough”, head off to Junior College and play for free for a season, and then stay healthy. (To close the loop on this story, this particular young player signed for $4 million dollars at the signing deadline, almost a million dollars more than Major league Baseball’s “slotting” system suggested for the second overall selection.)

We’ve all heard the stories of players (and in some cases known players) who waited and waited and sat out for that big payday, only to suffer a serious injury and see their market value plummet overnight.

Hopefully this and other such stories will have a happier ending than at.

"Irate soccer mom brings game to screeching halt"

Irate soccer mom brings game to screeching halt

It’s not as though we have never seen this type of headline before.

But the particular details—a youth soccer game in July of this year involving kids under the age of 8, with a 14-year old referee—reflect a kind of “over-invested” attitude that many of us, as parents, need to address.

In this particular instance, a mother and father of a young player were charged with assault against the young referee.

By all accounts the local soccer Association dealt with the matter promptly and effectively. But after all the public discourse on the subject of parents fighting with coaches, referees, and other parents, we wonder: why does this kind of thing still happen?

While these “events” are not exactly common, they aren’t quite rare, either. Those of us who have stood on the sidelines at a soccer or baseball game, or in a rink at a youth hockey game, can readily attest that the emotional heat gets turned up pretty quickly, and way too often.

Any number of things can flip the switch—a young player who is perceived to be playing “dirty”; a coach who does not play a particular child as much as another player; a referee’s decision; a comment by a parent on the “opposing” team, and many other things.

All these are triggers, and because this generation of parents is so invested in our kids, it sometimes takes very little to get certain individuals going.

Those of us involved in the sports world, including the youth sports field, have made numerous suggestions over the years as to how this type of behaviour can be at least somewhat mitigated. For example, I wrote very widely published articles within the last two years on the subjects of “Soccer Sideline Etiquette” and “Hockey Rink Etiquette” for parents. The articles were overwhelmingly well received by sports organizations across Canada and the United States, but any of us who have written on this or similar subjects recognize that it’s not an easy problem to “solve”.

Many years ago minor hockey officials in Canada developed ad campaigns encouraging parents to take their kids to the rink to watch them play. The message was simple: spend time with your kids. A few years and many incidents later, officials encouraged parents to drop their kids off at the local rink—a clear indication that things had changed and that hockey officials now believed that parents served best as taxi drivers than as a loud, argumentative presence setting horrible examples from the stands.

It must be human nature: we all (or at least most of us) seem to think our kids are “better” than the other kids; deserve more playing time; always receive the bad end of referees’ decisions; are the ones that spend more time listening to other parents complaining than we complain ourselves.

Most of us would really benefit from actually looking in the proverbial mirror, and assessing if we contribute to the problems that often surface in youth sports. We may not be the person who harasses a 14-year old referee, but if we help create a toxic atmosphere on our son or daughter’s youth team, we are contributing to the problems that create the unhappiness that leads to these totally unacceptable outbursts.

"Do as I say..."

The National Football League, according to its own people, is looking to “clean up its act”.

League officials acknowledge the NFL — as popular as it is with fans and bettors every Sunday in the fall — has a lot of work to do to get rid of its image as a league with too many athletes who are greedy, selfish and too often in trouble with the law.

As this public relations initiative evolves to help the League smooth its rough edges, here comes a double dose of irony.

A large number of highly-respected former players, including Hall-of-Famers Mike Ditka, Bart Starr and Sam Huff have called on the League and the NFL Players Association to do more to help former players, many of whom are, by all accounts, in desperate need of financial assistance. The players from the 50’s and 60’s did not make “the big bucks”, and many have found the transition to life after pro sports very difficult. Quite a number have medical costs that they simply cannot cover.

Various reports persist in suggesting that the vast majority of today’s players have no interest in giving up any of the millions of dollars they earn annually to share with those who helped build the League before them.

Critics suggest the League and the Players Association should do more. Much more.

A lot of the criticism has been directed at long-time Players Association President Gene Upshaw, himself a Hall-of-Famer who earns more than a million dollars a year in salary.

In a recent ESPN.com story, Upshaw is quoted as telling the Philadelphia Daily news (in response to critical comments attributed to former Buffalo Bills guard Joe DeLamielleure) that, “A guy like DeLamielleure says the things he said about me, you think I'm going to invite him to dinner? No. I'm going to break his ... damn neck".

Many of DeLamielleure’s friends and fellow former players were quoted in the ESPN story as saying that the man they called Joe D should be concerned about the alleged “threat” from Upshaw. One former player is quoted as saying, “I don’t trust him (Upshaw) not to be violent.”

Here is a League, an institution, really, in the United States, working supposedly hard to clean up its image.

The guys who built the foundation upon which the League now stands are simply asking that some of the millions of dollars that today’s League and players are earning be shared equitably among former players in need.

When one of the leaders of the NFL “establishment” (Upshaw), doesn’t like the criticism they are receiving, they respond with the kind of public comment that makes even tough-guy ex-NFL types shudder.

In terms of the messages the League is communicating, it may be that the League itself, and its leaders, need to set the bar much higher in terms of its own attitude and behaviour, if it wants to set an example for its modern-day players to follow.

Building your youth soccer team with real team players

I first created this piece in 2006, to help high-level youth coaches identify the distinctive characteristics they should look for in identifying athletes who will be real team players. The article has already been picked up by many sites, including the National Soccer Coaches Association of Canada (NSCAC).


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Building Your Youth Soccer Team With Real Team Players

15 traits — good and bad — that coaches should identify when looking for a true team player in youth sports

Is there anyone more passionate in the world of sports than a soccer enthusiast?

And if you coach youth soccer, you likely have a deep and abiding love for the game.

You also want your players to love the game, have fun and hopefully achieve some “success”.

For you, success means far more than wins and losses. Oh, you want to win. Any competitive person — young or old, coach, player or parent — generally wants to win, even in so-called “youth” sports.

But beyond that, you really do aspire to help build character in the young people in your care, and to build a team that plays hard and tough but fair.

So if you have the responsibility for selecting players for your all-star, select or “rep” teams, what are you looking for as you build this competitive young team?

Players with talent, to be sure.

Young athletes with a passion for soccer, absolutely.

But if you really want to have a “successful” team of young players, based on the above criteria, you will need to find true ‘team’ players.

So what are you looking for? What is a true ‘team’ player in youth sports?

True team players may not always be the most talented or naturally gifted players, but they make your team better by their sheer presence. The poor team player has an attitude that can spread like a disease, and over time can kill the harmony and chemistry that is often critically important in helping you attain the positive goals you have set out for your young squad.

Here, then, are some qualities, attributes, characteristics and/or behaviour patterns you will — and won’t— want to have on your team

1) Positive attitude

It’s an easy term to throw out there, but more than ever, in a generation filled with bulging egos and self-interest, a positive attitude — toward others and your team — is critically important in choosing an athlete for a high-level team.

What are tell-tale signs of a good — or bad — attitude in a young athlete?

- Does the player listen, or does he/she slough off input from coaches?

- Does the player have a strong work ethic all over the field?

- Does he/she have the ability to self-reflect, to really look at themselves in the mirror and see when they are not performing the way they should?

- Does the player work out on their own?

- Does the individual accept constructive criticism?

- Does the player work on their shortcomings, or only focus on the things they like to do or are good at?

As a coach, you can fill in the blanks with many other attributes relating to the importance of attitude.

In short, you want the player who will play a role when needed, accept the non-glory jobs, play (as much as is reasonable to expect of a young athlete) for the team more than simply for scoring goals or their own egos.

2) Work ethic

The willingness to work hard, really hard, to improve your skills is vital.

Pele was the world’s greatest soccer player, but also perhaps its hardest worker as he worked relentlessly to hone his abundant natural skills.

Wayne Gretzky was a hockey phenom, but worked and worked to get better every day from a very early age.

Does being a diligent worker make you a great team player? Not necessarily, if you don’t associate with and respect your fellow players.

But the vast majority of young athletes who work hard do so because they love the sport, truly want to be the best they can be, and by extension are great influences on their teammates.

Being a good teammate and team player is not necessarily being the most ‘popular’, but it can include setting important examples, especially in terms of work ethic.

3) Picking up and supporting a fellow player when they are down

The player you are looking for can identify when a teammate is struggling, needs a pat on the back, and a shot of confidence.

This is tough to expect when players are really young, but by the time a young person is 12 or 13, it is a quality that you can look for.

I remember a few years ago that I asked one of my clients, an NHL player, a question that I sensed he had never been asked before. I asked him if he could identify one player in his pro career who he thought of as a truly excellent teammate and team player, specifically someone who didn’t blame others and supported his own teammates when they were down.

He named James Patrick, the long time defenseman, who has had a quiet but lengthy and distinguished career in the NHL.

That has always stayed with me.

As a youth coach, you want to find as many James Patrick-type players as possible!

4) Helping other/younger players

This does not necessarily apply until older ages when say, a 13 or 14 year old is playing with older athletes, but it can be a very important attribute in an “older” youth player.

The great team player senses when a younger player is struggling, uncomfortable or anxious. He/she will spend some time with the younger player, talk with them, make them realize they are a part of the team, and generally include them in team activities.

I remember many years ago, when I was coaching a youth baseball team. One of my four sons was on the team. (Yes, I was one of those coaches with a son on their team!). There was quite an age spread on this particular team, 13 to 16.

During one game, I came down very hard on my son, in a way that I likely would not have with any other player. I unloaded. He accepted it and but was hurt and upset and quietly went to seek a quiet space in the corner of the dugout.

One of his teammates, a 16 year-old catcher and true team leader, quietly went over, knelt down in front of my son, took him gently by the shoulders and just spoke with him privately.

That response lifted my son’s spirits and made him feel much, much better, and also showed the quality of character of this young person.

That day, a 16-year old did a lot more for my son’s growth and development than I did.

He also reinforced for me what a true team player is, at any level of sport.

5) Showing genuine happiness when others succeed

This is hard for most of us as adults, so it is quite an expectation for us to have of a young athlete.

This is especially difficult during the tryout process, when players are obviously competing for positions on the team.

But once the final squad is selected, it is important that players support one another in good times and bad.

It can be particularly challenging to find joy in the success of your teammates, but if you can, it is a wonderful gift to share.

The coach who identifies a lot of players who can do this will have a strong team, on and off the field.

6) Negative body language

Visit any soccer pitch and you will see young players, very young players, demonstrate negative body language that must have been learned by example: an example perhaps set by watching older players on TV, or in their own homes.

Some specific examples of this behaviour?

Players shoot the evil eye at teammates when that other player is thought to have made a mistake; they throw their hands up in the air whenever an officials’ call goes against them or their team (it seems to be human nature to disagree with calls by referees on occasion, but when a player reacts repeatedly, it is a problem); they won’t look their coach in the eye, or simply tune their coach out. All these can be small but important signs that this particular player will let you — and the team— down at crunch time.

7) The selfish player

Selfish play doesn’t only show itself when a player won’t “pass the ball”. That does happen, and can pose a problem, of course, if a young player repeatedly refuses to look for the open man when the opportunity calls for it.

But selfish play shows itself in a variety of ways, and youth coaches need to be on guard. The player who incessantly harps at game officials is not a team player, because he/she is only hurting their team by complaining constantly to officials who, being human, may take out their own frustration against your team.

The player who constantly throws his hands up in the air when a call goes against him is being selfish. I recently saw a youth soccer player called for a foul in the middle of the field. No damage to his team, really. But after twice elbowing his opponent near the head and being called, he acted as though he had done nothing wrong, and proceeded to throw the ball out of bounds, delaying the game.

The referee promptly gave the player a yellow card.

Was that helping his team?

Again, the example is often set at the pro levels. When Tie Domi hit Scott Niedermeyer with a violent elbow to the head — for no apparent reason—in the dying seconds of a critical NHL playoff game a few years ago, many believe the thoughtless act wrecked any chances his team, the Maple Leafs, had of upsetting the favored New Jersey Devils. Domi was suspended for the senseless act, and rather than focus on a great game the Leafs had just played in victory, the media and the hockey world focused solely on Domi’s actions. A thoughtless, selfish play hurt his team, badly.

The Leafs lost the series.

8) The blame game

Perhaps it is a reflection of the way some professional athletes act out, or maybe it is that too many of us as parents have gone overboard in ‘supporting’ our own kids. Whatever, far too many young athletes simply look to blame others when things go wrong.

Rather than look at their own performance, they pick at teammates, blame others for goals that are scored, and generally fail to recognize their own errors while focusing on the ‘mistakes’ of others.

This attitude can spread like wildfire, and is highly toxic.

9) “I’m better than you”

Everyone is, of course, entitled to their own opinion. Stand on any soccer sideline at youth games and you’ll hear plenty of them.

Opinions become an issue, however, when parents start thinking their kid is better than everyone else’s.

And when the young players themselves act as though they are better than their teammates — either in the actual things the say, the tone they adopt when interacting with fellow players, coaches, or the way they exclude certain teammates on or off the field, it is a major problem.

Young players who think they’re great and better than everyone else and that others are the problem create an environment for failure, on many levels.

10) “I’ll play anywhere, coach”

Most every coach loves the player who is versatile, can play different positions and accepts tough roles.

Often, part of being a good team player is being the kind of player that a coach can count on to embrace sometimes low-profile but difficult assignments.

If you can find players with the willingness to take on different tasks, you’ll be doing well.

11) Humility

Genuine humility is difficult to find, at any age. We are all taught a kind of superficial, false modesty at a very young age, and that is socially encouraged, to a certain extent.

And human nature being what it is, we all have pride. That’s OK.

But developing a truly humble attitude is a wonderful trait in a young athlete.

To take pride in working toward or achieving a goal is generally a healthy thing.

But reminding him or herself that few if any athletes accomplish things totally on their own is a good thing for young athletes. You usually need helpful and supportive parents, excellent coaches, teammates who also strive to be better, as part of one’s support system.

Even world class athletes in “individual”, non-team sports such as gymnastics, figure-skating and swimming need the support of others to attain great things, whether that support is financial, emotional or otherwise.

Goodness knows the professional sports world is filled with individuals who think primarily of themselves. The youth sports world — and your team— can always do with some humility.

12) A focus on fitness

There is more to being a good soccer player than technical skills.

There is no question that if a young person wants to be an elite athlete, they need to get into outstanding physical condition, especially in soccer.

Is your potential player willing to do additional training on their own and with teammates, beyond games and practises?

Some may think that just being a soccer player —with all the running that entails— will keep you in top shape. In fact, to get to an elite level, to become the kind of player that won’t shut down late in a tough game, you need to be in better physical condition than the player opposite you.

By being in great condition, a young player won’t let themself down, and they won’t let their team down, either.

13) Welcoming “new” players to the team

There is often an awkward transition period for any athlete, but perhaps especially young athletes, when a player changes teams or joins a new team.

The young player may not know many of his/her fellow players and teammates, and there may be a period of discomfort.

The team player will welcome newcomers to the team, answer their questions, share experiences and generally offer a genuine and warm welcome, both on and off the field.

14) A player who shows respect for the coach, teammates and themselves

No player, from the youngest “house league” player to the star professional, will always agree with their coach.

Whether the issue is playing time, method of instruction, discipline, whatever, there will always be the possibility of disagreement.

But the team player will recognize that the coach may see the ‘big picture’ and will follow the coach’s plan for the team. This player doesn’t freelance and simply do his or her own thing..

The team player will do his or her best to adopt the strategic recommendations of the coach, and respect the coach’s philosophy — assuming, of course, the youth coach is of strong character with solid values.

(On this point, parents have every right to disagree with a coach, but those disagreements should be discussed privately, away from other players and parents.

If the conflicts cannot be resolved, the parents have the option of raising legitimate issues or concerns with a “higher authority” or seeking an alternate program for their son or daughter.)

Assuming good will on everyone’s part, the player with the team uppermost in mind will respect not only his coach, but also his or her fellow players. That final point should not be undervalued. A player who respects their teammates is worth their weight in gold.

This doesn’t mean there won’t be joking, camaraderie and even some healthy competition and occasional words of criticism. But if the basis of the relationship is genuine respect, then the relationship can build and flourish.

15) The follower

Not every person — or athlete— is a leader, so it is certainly not reasonable to expect that every young player will be a leader.

Our course, one thing to be aware of as a youth coach is the young player who is not only a follower, but who follows the wrong kind of example.

The follower is the one that easily falls in with negative peer influences, displays immature judgments or inappropriate outbursts with coaches, fellow players or officials, for example.

One influential player with a negative attitude can carry other players who fall into the ‘follower’ category with them, and that can seriously impede team harmony.

Final thoughts

Beyond these 15 points, there are, of course, other attributes as a coach that you will have taken note of over the years in building a youth team. But these 15 things give a coach some points to seriously consider, as they go about building a real “team” in youth sports.

A final thought: Too many teams are kept together from year to year in youth sports, because of a variety of factors, including politics, with no room for “new blood”.

This can be troubling for a couple of reasons. By almost automatically keeping the same players year after year, regardless of attitude or work ethic, players and their parents develop a sense of entitlement that they, without question, deserve to be on a particular team.

Also, a youth coach, in adopting this restrictive approach, may miss some players who would be excellent additions to their squad, and be real team players.

Unfortunately, the “tryout” process is often way too short. The longer a coach can carry on their tryout process, the better they will be able to identify the traits, qualities and characteristics that will help them locate players who are hidden gems.

And a team player is just that: a gem.

Michael Langlois, founder of Prospect Communications Inc., is the author of the book, “How Well Do You Communicate? A Guide to Better Communication with Players and Parents for Minor (Youth) Soccer Coaches”. Prospect’s web site is located at http://www.prospectcommunications.com. This article is copyrighted to the author and may not be reproduced without obtaining written permission. To inquire about licensing the right to reproduce any of the enclosed content email: inquiries@prospectcommunications.com