Can Sports Teach the Political World Anything?

After more than 30 years as a communications advisor, I’ve had the opportunity to work with many intriguing figures in the sports world.

Lessons from that world can be applied, I believe, to elected officials (whether they be, in Canada, backbench MP’s or Ministers-in-waiting) and those who advise them.

To provide some context, when I work with professional athletes, coaches (or with corporate leaders, for example) I always ask the same question: “How important is your own personal credibility to you?” To a person, everyone essentially answers, “It’s everything….the most important thing.”

But many in the sports world, specifically, react poorly in the media spotlight.

They either: 

• become overly sensitive
• play games with the media 
• don’t answer legitimate questions directly
• pick fights with particular reporters 
• can’t handle legitimate performance criticism  
• have public and overly emotional meltdowns 
• claim they were misquoted or taken out of context
• are numbingly bland

 In short, they engage in tactics that have the absolute opposite effect of building credibility with those who hear their words and view their actions.

I well understand the dilemma—in sports and in politics. There is a historical mistrust between media and politicos, as there has been recently between those who cover sports teams and the players and coaches they interact with in a particular market.

This has been exacerbated, of course, as media has become even more pervasive.

Given that media folks tend to last longer than most politicians or sports figures in a particular market, it makes sense, then, to find ways to make the interaction less contemptible.

Some Specific Suggestions to Help Politicians Become Better Communicators: 

1. 
   
    I’ve been in meeting rooms where politicians have been told, quite literally, “Minister, you don’t have to answer questions directly. Just keep repeating your message until the questions change…” or words to that effect. “Success” in those circumstances was (sadly) gauged by having survived tough questions through obfuscation. This approach kills credibility. (In sports, when a coach stays with this approach for too long, he is quite rightly ridiculed by the press—and fans.)
2. 
   
   “Talking points” can be important, of course. But how points are brought across is just as, if not more important. Just repeating the same lines over and over makes no sense. If you are asked a legitimate question, either in the House or out, why can’t it ever be addressed directly? Is it stubbornness, fear or simply bad advice, which precludes an elected official from responding appropriately? 
3. 
   
   Have you really won with the public when you leave Question Period either having yelled at the Minister of the day, or as the Minister of the day, having yet again successfully managed to crawl through Question Period evading real answers to the questions you were asked? Does anyone outside of Ottawa really think that still equals effective, credible communication, or concern for finding solutions to the real problems people face? 
4. 
   
   We all understand there is a huge risk, especially these days, in how politicians communicate. Athletes will still get paid if they mess up their media relationships. Politicians may lose their job. One slip, one off-hand remark and a political career may be lost. You’re followed everywhere, almost like a celebrity. Your comments and conversations are taped constantly. It can be both intoxicating and intimidating. 
5. 
   
   So the question may be, can you really be genuine and be in “successful” in politics? I still believe it’s possible, yes. You can be yourself. Just be your best self—true to yourself, determined and passionate.
6. 
   
   I’ve for many years believed that people don’t have to agree with you for you to be an effective communicator. In fact, they may disagree vehemently with your point of view.
7. 
   
   But, and this is a big but—if you can communicate in a thoughtful and credible way, in a manner that at least doesn’t turn people away and actually engages them and makes them open to at least really listening to what you have to say, then that is a first step in effective communication. 
8. 
   
   That means tone (how you say what you say) and attitude (arrogant, condescending or genuinely interested?) are hugely significant.
9. 
   
   The ability to deal straightforwardly is also crucial. If you dance around a question, people sense it immediately. People may not like an honest answer when they hear it, and honesty can do political damage, for sure. 

 But people absolutely loathe dishonesty when they detect it, so what’s worse?

Communication Questions and Thoughts for Political Advisors

 On the other hand, what can you, as a staffer do, to help your boss achieve something closer to “balance” in the way they prepare to communicate with their various day-to-day audiences—other politicians, the media, the everyday people and working families in their own community who your MPs are there to represent?

Again, lessons from the world of sports—from kids on the playground to professionals—may help guide you in your efforts:

1. 
   
   Adopt a team-centric approach. Do it because it’s the right thing to do, but also out of self-interest. Former staffers tell me the life expectancy of many Hill advisors is pretty short anyway, so you might as well go down with a good reputation.
2. 
   
   Being a team player can mean many different things. It doesn’t mean being the loudest person in the room, or the first to speak or the last to speak.
3. 
   
   Put your views forward strongly, but be open to the different perspectives that will inevitably emerge in any intelligent, healthy debate.
4. 
   
   The poor “team player” has an attitude that can spread like a disease, and over time can kill the harmony and chemistry that is often critically important in any work setting. It’s hard to meet “team” goals when individuals within the group are primarily fighting for attention, glory or credit.
5. 
   
   How are your listening skills? Do you take input well from others or make instant determinations to ignore what certain people say? We all know, instinctively, that being a listener is the first step in being a good communicator, and thus the first step in being able to advise others thoughtfully and wisely.
6. 
   
   How much, if any, time do you spend self-reflecting. Failure to look in the mirror generally means you aren’t stepping back and seeing if you are really suggesting the best options.
7. 
   
   Are you a get-your-hands dirty “role-player” or a glory person?
8. 
   
   Respect given is usually respect returned. This includes respect not just for your boss, but for fellow workers. Genuine respect is the basis for lasting relationships, in good times and bad.
9. 
   
    Negative body language can send awful signals—mostly about ourselves.
10. 
    
    The blame game is a favorite excuse in sports—is it in your office? “Not my fault”… is often our first instinct. In the non-teamwork environment, when things hit the fan, eventually everyone learns to cover their back, and you end up with a room full of people with their backs against a wall. It’s hard to be effective that way.
11. 
    
    When someone else is down, pick them up.
12. 
    
    Trust takes a long time to earn. But comfort is something you can start to create the moment you meet someone.
13. 
    
    Read, watch, compare, research, think, check your common sense meter, and then advise.

 If anyone—politicians, advisor, whomever—ever discovers that responsibility is more important than “power” and could genuinely and legitimately communicate that; the country would be further ahead.

A final comment: you’re never so experienced in these things that you can’t learn more. I recently read a comment from former Super-Bowl winning coach Jon Gruden, now a color analyst for ESPN. He has spent his “down” time away from coaching to be with family, but also to learn more about coaching methods. He mentioned that he has reached out to college coaches, and learned a lot from them, including coaches at Appalachian State.

Here’s someone who has won the biggest award in his profession, learning from those at a school many have never heard of.

The lesson of humility may be a worthwhile one for politicians and staffers, too.

Political communications advisors, politcal spin doctors, good media advice, bad media advice

Working together effectively with parents: 10 tips for youth sports coaches

Below is one of my most-requested online articles, published on the Prospect blog for the first time.  It has been reproduced on the websites of numerous youth-sports-related organizations. This article is copyrighted to the author and may not be reproduced without obtaining written permission. To inquire about licensing the right to reproduce any of the enclosed content email: inquiries@prospectcommunications.com

******

Most youth hockey coaches would probably agree—at least privately—that one of their biggest challenges as a coach is interacting with parents.

Parents—understandably so—care first and foremost about their own son or daughter. We all talk about teamwork but at the end of the day, if truth really be told, most of us focus almost exclusively on what we think is best for our own child.

We talk about “fair play”, but that lasts until we get to the field or arena. Far too many of us want to “win”, or should I say see our child’s team “win”. This translates into comments that we as parents make about who gets the most ice team, who should be on the team, and on its goes.

Coaches face many situations that must indeed be handled thoughtfully. Even if a youth coach does not have his or her own son or daughter on the team (that’s a piece for another day), there is much to plan for.

Remember this as you consider the following points: How you say what you say may be more important in many instances than what you actually say. Your tone and your attitude either help—or seriously harm—the message you are trying to deliver.

1) Communicate ‘till it hurts.

Poor communication—or lack of communication—kills relationships of all kinds: parent-child, wife-husband, teacher-student, coach-player.

Good communication—clear, articulate, ongoing, positive and genuine communication is vitally important for youth coaches.

As soon as you, as a coach, commit to entering into a true “relationship” with a young person, you are by necessity stepping into a relationship with their parents or guardians.

Don’t just have one “meeting” at the beginning of the season in the parking lot at the practice field and feel that you have done your job. It is imperative that you meet or at least speak with parents on a regular basis, privately or in a group, to stop any simmering concerns before they become real problems.

2) Hearing is a sense; listening is a skill.

We surely all recognize there is a big difference between hearing and truly taking in what someone else is saying to us.

Listening is a skill, and like all skills, it can be developed if we care enough to make it a priority.

Work on enhancing your listening skills, and your relationships—including with your players’ parents—will generally improve.

3) Don’t assume you have all the answers.

Like the young players you train and coach, sometimes parents have something to offer. At least be open to what people have to say. They may have experience you don’t have.

This is not to suggest that your parents should lead you by the nose and tell you what to do. You are the coach and you are in charge. By all means lead the way. But don’t assume you have all the answers. Be open to opinions and ideas, from parents and players.

4) Establish joint expectations.

Once the team is selected, or put together (depending on whether it is a “rep”, “All-Star” or house-league squad), make the time to sit down for a few minutes, privately, with each family and the player to review mutual expectations.

Do this before the season starts.

If you agree, or at least can mutually accept, what the plan is for your child (ice time, role on the team, skills that must be developed, discipline or attitude adjustments, etc.) before the season starts, there is much less likelihood of upset, misunderstanding or bitterness as the season wears on.

5) Face to face, private—away from the rink.

Too often youth coaches have “meetings” with parents at the rink in front of other people.

The timing—and the location—is off. It simply doesn’t work.

When you need to have a conversation with a parent, or they need to speak with you, agree on a time and place to meet—away from the rink.

A private meeting should be just that—private.

6) Make it clear that your yelling is not personal.

All youth coaches are different. Some are quiet, nurturing. Others are yellers, more bombastic and colorful.

Most really do care about the kids they work with, regardless of the way they sometimes present themselves to others.

If you are a “yeller”, someone who instructs forcefully during games or practices, make a point of reminding—and reassuring—parents that your comments to the players are meant as instructive, not as personal criticisms.

If you make that clear—and it is truly the case—parents can sit back and enjoy the game.

7) The 24-hour rule.

This is by no means a new concept, but we should still remind ourselves: if we, as parents, are upset by a situation at the rink, most of the time it is healthy for us to sleep on it, cool down a little and wait a good 24 hours before we make that phone call to a coach or another parent.

Similarly, a youth coach should hold his or her tongue on most occasions, before saying something to a young player or parent after a game or practice that may unnecessarily lead to hurt feelings.

Wait a day, and you will likely make whatever point you wanted to make in a more composed, thoughtful and sensitive manner.

8) Insist that parents not coach from the sidelines.

Parents who think they know the game have a tendency to yell instructions to their offspring from the stands.

Unfortunately, along with being a major distraction for their son or daughter (and other players on the field), they may be yelling instructions that are in direct contradiction with what the coaches want the player to do in particular circumstances.

As the coach-leader, you have to lay down the law. Parents should be on hand to support their own child and the team, in a positive manner. Full stop.

9) Discourage parents from talking about other people’s kids.

This is so important. Negativity is toxic and spreads quickly.

It is also important that youth coaches do everything they can to discourage parents from negative rink behaviour. From debating who did or didn’t deserve to be on a certain team, to comments about a child’s playing ability, the coach needs to be a strong, positive example in this regard, and work to keep parents thinking—and talking—positively about all the players on your team.

10) Create a checklist.

Before and during each season, create and revise brief checklists as a reminder of the things you want to communicate with your parents. Set up a time table and review a list of issues that you feel will be important to review and discuss with the group throughout the course of the season.

It’s not enough to have a meeting at the beginning of the season and then provide no feedback for the next 8 months.

Bonus suggestion: Ask each parent before the season starts to write down what they want and need from you in terms of communication from you as their child’s coach.

You may not be able to deliver on everything that people ask for, but be aware, at least, of their expectations. And ask parents what motivates their son or daughter. This knowledge can help you tremendously to get “inside” the psyche of the young person you are there to develop as an athlete—and as a person.

Good youth coaches are more than people who know how to teach “systems” or implement checking schemes. They know the value of positive, constant communication not only with their players, but with the people who drive their players to each and every game and practicethe parents.

******************

Michael Langlois, founder of Prospect Communications Inc., is the author of the following books: 1) A Guide to Better Communication for Minor Hockey Coaches,  2) How Well Do You Communicate? A Guide to Better Communication with Players and Parents for Minor (Youth) Soccer Coaches, 3) An NHL Prospect's Guide, 4) The Professional Hockey Coaches' Handbook, 5) The Job Interview Guide for Professional Hockey Coaches.  The Prospect Communications web site is located at http://www.prospectcommunications.com/This article is copyrighted to the author and may not be reproduced without obtaining written permission. To inquire about licensing the right to reproduce any of the enclosed content email: inquiries@prospectcommunications.com 

The only reason Sean Avery will ever make you think of Bobby Orr

Sean Avery and Bobby Orr in the same breath?

Not really. It’s simply that Avery’s latest and rather tasteless public outburst brought to mind someone who was – and is – very much unlike the veteran Dallas Stars forward.

Bobby Orr comes to mind because, publicly, he has always been everything someone like Avery is not. Quiet, rather dull, humble, perhaps even shy. And certainly not someone to seek the limelight.

Orr’s number 2 was recently retired by the Oshawa Generals of the Ontario Hockey League. Orr played in Oshawa from the age of 14 to his graduation to the Bruins at the age of 18. By all accounts the Oshawa organization had offered this honor many times over the years, but Orr declined because he was uncomfortable with all the fuss that would be made. (Orr has been, in recent years, a successful and well-regarded player agent.) He finally relented and the night went well.

I remember a chance encounter I had back in the fall of 1966, Orr’s rookie season as an 18 year-old with the Boston Bruins.

I was raised in a small town in southwestern Ontario, about a 4 hour drive from Toronto in those days. My eldest brother was receiving his Masters degree at Convocation Hall at the University of Toronto on a Friday night. (I believe the late Carl Brewer, a wonderful player with the Leafs in the early 60’s who had retired from pro hockey for a time, was also receiving a degree that night.)

I was the youngest of the family and we drove up that day to attend the graduation ceremony. We had not announced our intentions early enough to obtain seats for everyone, so my Dad and I were the ones left to “stand”, while my Mom, sister and my brother’s fiancée found seating.

That night, I never got inside the auditorium. Instead we just stood in the hall, waiting for the lengthy event to end. (When you’re 13, hearing hundreds of names read out in sequence when you can’t even see the "action" was pretty dull stuff.)

With nothing to do but kill time, I roamed around the halls. My Dad was leaning up against a wall near the exit, reading a newspaper.

I happened to notice some men (they all seemed like fairly old guys to me) in a small group, sharing stories and having a few laughs. One of them, younger than the others, was taking part in the frivolity. What caught my eye was that the young guy seemed somehow familiar. To me, he looked like Bobby Orr.

Now to put things in context, back in 1966, we didn’t have the kind of media exposure that is common today for politicians, entertainers or athletes. I had seen Orr’s picture in the hometown newspaper’s sports pages, and maybe (maybe) had seen him interviewed on television on Hockey Night in Canada.

But this was Orr’s rookie season, and as ballyhooed as his arrival to the NHL was back then, I could not be sure of what I was seeing right in front of me.

I ran over to my Dad and told him that I thought I had just seen Bobby Orr. My Dad didn’t even look up from his newspaper. "Why would Bobby Orr be here?" he said. He wasn’t being sarcastic--simply, in his mind, realistic. Kids, after all, are prone to dramatize.

But I knew the Bruins were playing the Leafs in Toronto the next (Saturday) night, so I knew that Orr could be in Toronto, at least.

I went back to eavesdrop on the group’s conversation. Just at that moment, the young guy started to pull away from his friends, and I heard someone say, "See you, Bobby".

That was all I needed to hear. I hustled over to my father and announced what I heard, and pleaded with him to at least check this guy out. By now, even my Dad was sensing I may not be crazy. It so happened that the young fellow had to work his way through a crowded hall and walk by us to get to the exit.

It was a moment I no doubt sized up as a once-in-a-lifetime fluke that would not ever come my way again. With my hopeful eyes on the fast-developing situation, my Dad rose to the occasion and gently, but firmly, grabbed the young man by the arm as he hustled by.

"Excuse me", my Dad said to him. “This young man here thinks he knows you. Do you mind if I ask you your name?”

"Bob Orr", came the reply.

I’d hit the mother lode. My Dad said, "Shake hands with my son". I shook Orr’s hand, who was quiet, and gracious. He was only 5 years older than me, but honest to God, I might as well have been meeting Jesus. It was that big a deal to me.

When we had driven back to my older sister’s home (she lived in Mississauga, as I recall, though it wasn’t called that in those days, it was probably Port Credit) I thought not about my brother’s hard-earned academic achievement, which was the reason for our rare visit to the big city but about meeting the best young hockey player I had ever seen (and as it turns out, would ever see).

I joked about never washing my right hand again, and probably didn’t, for a time.

Certainly there are athletes today who are gracious and humble, and would be so in meeting a young admirer. But all too often you have to stand in line and then pay for the honor.

The world has changed in the last 40 years. Attitudes, media, technology, money.

Oh well.

It was nice to read about Orr’s comments on his special night in Oshawa. A man of 60 now, but still publicly humble and gracious.

Maybe Sean Avery will be that way 30 years from now. But if so, he’s got a long way to go.

Gillick sets an unusual example in sharing credit

Often, the first thing new Coaches or General Manager’s do when they take over from a “fired” or displaced predecessor is directly - or subtly - comment on all the work that needs to be done to rebuild the organization.

By making this claim publicly in the first days of their administration (much like an incoming political party who claims that things are much worse than they feared when they took office and “saw the books”, therefore they can’t afford to do what they promised they would do during the election campaign), it sets the expectation bar so low that any progress is seen as major improvement under their watch.

So it was refreshing to hear Philadelphia Phillies General Manager Pat Gillick give credit to Ed Wade, his predecessor as GM of the National League pennant-winning Phillies. So often when a team succeeds, you don’t hear about the earlier Coaches or Managers who actually also helped build the squad’s success.

Gillick’s comments reinforce the notion I’ve long held about him.

More than 30 years ago, when I was a young nobody working in radio on the smallest station in the Toronto radio market, the Toronto Blue Jays were the new expansion team. The team, under ‘PR’ oriented President and General Manager Peter Bavasi, was very aware of building the team’s profile, even with small-time radio folks with no “influence” such as myself. I was able to interview, at length, all the names in the Toronto front office, including Bavasi, manager Roy Hartsfield and of course Gillick, who had moved over from the Yankees organization, if I remember correctly. Gillick, now 71, was then an up and coming baseball guy. He was approachable, smart and worth interviewing because he had something to say. He became GM in Toronto and built the Jays into a World Series Champion.

My work took me to other situations and I never stayed in touch with Gillick. But I also recall that, somewhere along the way, my eldest son, then in Grade 7, sent Gillick a letter asking some questions for a school project. Gillick actually wrote back with some comments. While he didn’t disclose any state secrets, it was no form letter and I was impressed with the fact the he actually took the time to respond to specific questions posed by a 12-year-old kid. Gillick would not have been doing this because he “knew” me. He didn’t. He was simply the kind of person who would take the time to write back to a kid.

Gillick has been one of those universally respected guys in major league baseball for 30 years. Ed Wade would be among those who could tell you why.

Hockey Rink Etiquette for Parents

The body of this post is an article I wrote in 2005, and have updated annually.

This is one of our most requested articles, and has been picked up by dozens of Minor and Youth Hockey Associations across Canada and the United States. I thought it would be a good idea to include the article here, in the Prospect Communications blog.

The article offers simple but important advice directed at parents, but that will make the game much more fun for the youngsters who play the game at any level.

*****

As the days grow a little longer, the 2006-’07 minor hockey season will soon begin to wind down.

That said, it’s not too late for parents to end the season on a high note.

We all recognize that youth hockey is an intense game on the ice, and sometimes it can be just as intense — and tense — off the ice.

There, we see parents jawing at each other, at players, at coaches, at game officials. The temperature is a little too high in the building, and some of us parents can be a little too tightly wound.

While we all say it’s about “fun”, watching our own kids play can bring out the worst instincts that we have.

We all want our sons and daughters to play, to play hard, to play well, and — there’s that phrase again — have fun. We want them to be well-coached, play on a team that is competitive in their category, and benefit in a host of ways from being involved in competitive athletics.

Yet we, as parents, sometimes undercut how much fun our kids really have, and how much they will actually benefit.

This happens by and through our often toxic behaviour, especially during games.

Unfortunately, many of us don’t recognize our own negative behaviour. We only see it in others!

So here is a primer, a reminder, of little things that we can do at and around the rink this winter to make the hockey season more pleasant for all concerned — most importantly, for the kids.

15 things to keep in mind while watching from the stands this winter:

1. Let the coaches coach. If you are telling your son or daughter — or any other player for that matter — to do something different from what their coach is telling them, you create distraction and confusion.

2. It is very unnerving for many young players to try and perform difficult tasks on the ice on the spur of the moment when parents are yelling at them from the sidelines. Let the kids play. If they have been well coached, they should know what to do on the ice. If they make a mistake, chances are they will learn from it.

3. Do not discuss the play of specific young players in front of other parents. How many times do you hear comments such as, “I don’t know how that boy made this team….” or “she’s just not fast enough…”. Too many parents act as though their own child is a ‘star’, and the problem is someone else’s kid. Negative comments and attitudes are hurtful and totally unnecessary and kill parent harmony, which is often essential to youth team success.

4. Discourage such toxic behaviour by listening patiently to any negative comments that might be made, then address issues in a thoughtful, positive way. Speak to the positive qualities of a player, family or coach. It tends to make the outspoken critics back off, at least temporarily.

5. Do your level best not to complain about your son or daughter’s coaches to other parents. Once that starts, it is like a disease that spreads. Before you know it, parents are talking constantly in a negative way behind a coach’s back. (As an aside, if you have what you truly feel is a legitimate beef with your child’s coach — either regarding game strategy or playing time, arrange an appointment to meet privately, away from the rink and other parents.)

6. Make only positive comments from the stands. Be encouraging. Young athletes do not need to be reminded constantly about their perceived errors or mistakes. Their coaches will instruct them, either during the game or between periods, and during practices. You can often see a young player make that extra effort when they hear encouraging words from the stands about their hustle.

7. Avoid making any negative comments about players on the other team. This should be simple: we are talking about youngsters, not adults who are being paid to play professionally. I recall being at a ‘rep’ baseball game some years ago, when parent on one team loudly made comments about errors made by a particular young player on the other team. People on the other side of the diamond were stunned— not to mention hurt and angry, and rightfully so. Besides being tasteless and classless, these kinds of comments can be hurtful to the young person involved and to their family as well.

8. Try to keep interaction with parents on the other team as healthy and positive as possible. Who’s kidding whom? You want your child’s team to win. So do they. But that should not make us take leave of our senses, especially our common sense. Be courteous ‘till it hurts; avoid the ‘tit for tat’ syndrome.

9. Parents on the ‘other’ team are not the enemy. Neither are the boys or girls on the other team. We should work to check any negative feelings at the door before we hit the arena.

10. What is the easiest thing to do in the youth sports world? Criticize the referees. Oh, there are times when calls are missed, absolutely. And that can, unfortunately, directly affect the outcome of a contest. That said, by and large those who officiate at youth hockey games are a) hardly over-compensated, and b) give it an honest — and often quite competent — effort. At worst, they usually at least try to be fair and objective.

11. On that note, outbursts from parents on the sideline made toward the referees only signal to our on children on the ice that they can blame the refs for anything that goes wrong. Learning early in life to make excuses and to blame others is not a formula for success in sports — or life.

12. Yelling out comments such as “Good call, ref” or “Thanks ref” may only serve to alienate an official. The ref always assumes they made the proper call, that’s why they made it. Trying to show superficial support because the call went ‘your’ way is simply annoying to the officials, and to anyone within earshot.

13. The stands are for enjoying watching your child play, and the companionship of other parents— not for negative behaviour. If you want to coach, obtain your coaching certification and then apply for a job.

14. We all feel things and are apt to be tempted to say things to others — fellow parents, officials, our own kids — in the ‘heat of the moment’. But we don’t excuse athletes for doing inappropriate things in the ‘heat of the moment’ (there are penalties, suspensions, etc.) so we should apply similar standards to our own behaviour at the rink. Make yourself pause and quickly check yourself and ask: Will I be proud of what I am about to say or do when I reflect on it tomorrow?

15. The parking lot is not the time to ‘fan the flames’. Whether it is a coach’s decision, a referee’s call, a comment that was made, let it go. Don’t harass the coach or an official or a parent on the other team after the game is over. Go home, relax, and unwind. Talk positively with your child. Many of us have made the mistake of “chewing out” our own son or daughter on the way home for perceived poor play. The ride home is sometimes as important as the game itself. Make that time a good memory for your son or daughter by discussing as many positives as you can about him/her, their coach and their teammates.

*****

Michael Langlois, founder of Prospect Communications Inc., is the author of the following books: 1) A Guide to Better Communication for Minor Hockey Coaches, 2) How Well Do You Communicate? A Guide to Better Communication with Players and Parents for Minor (Youth) Soccer Coaches, 3) An NHL Prospect's Guide, 4) The Professional Hockey Coaches' Handbook, 5) The Job Interview Guide for Professional Hockey Coaches. The Prospect Communications web site is located at http://www.prospectcommunications.com/.  This article is copyrighted to the author and may not be reproduced without obtaining written permission. To inquire about licensing the right to reproduce any of the enclosed content email: inquiries@prospectcommunications.com

When is a lie the truth?

A lot of my professional work over the past 20 years has been around helping athletes and coaches at all levels—amateur and professional—understand their professional responsibilities, be aware of the needs and realities of the media, and communicate/navigate through media and public scrutiny with as much integrity and credibility as they possibly can.

Whether these individual clients meet with fans one-on-one, interact with the media daily or occasionally, or encounter more formal public speaking opportunities, the ability to communicate clearly and credibly is vital to their off-field and off-ice endeavors—and success—for a whole host of reasons.

This brings us to a recent situation involving Major League Baseball’s Toronto Blue Jays.

Revealing and/or formally reporting sports injuries is handled a little different from sport to sport.

As gambling is vital to the popularity of pro football in the United States, the NFL has long had a firm policy that teams must disclose all—even minor—injuries the week of the next scheduled game, and to declare the statistical likelihood of a particular athlete being available to play in that game.

Hockey, on the other hand, has a long history of coaches deliberately being vague about the severity of injuries; in recent years it has become a running joke about whether a player has an “upper-body” or “lower-body” injury. NHL players take great pride in playing through pain, but coaches don’t like the opposition to know what injured area they should be going after during a game.

Baseball is a little different. Some guys play with injuries, of course, but teams don’t generally make a point of hiding injury information. A hang-nail puts some guys on the 15-day DL in baseball, and Sammy Sosa missed 15 days a few years ago after he sneezed and pulled a muscle, so what’s to hide?

All this said, an ethicist or perhaps a linguist would no doubt have fun with the following story:

Toronto Blue Jays closer B.J. Ryan was placed on the disabled list earlier this season. Evidently the team had claimed the pitcher had back problems dating back to spring training. Last week, General Manager J.P. Ricciardi declared that it was actually the lefty’s elbow, not his back, that was the problem that ultimately landed the player on the 60-day DL.

As mentioned, this sort of thing (not being straightforward about injuries) happens in hockey all the time, though not in football.

Most fans could care less whether it was a player’s back or his elbow. They simply want to know if the guy is too hurt to play effectively.

In a recent Globe & Mail and Canadian Press story, Ricciardi is quoted as denying he ever “lied” about the nature of Ryan’s injury.

In the interview, Ricciardi is quoted as saying, “It was his elbow that was bothering him. So we said it was his back, so we could have a bit more time.”

More time for what, I’m not sure. But whatever his reason, the fact remains that Ricciardi and the Jays organization reported false information regarding the nature of Ryan’s injury.

Remembering again that masking the details of injury is not entirely uncommon, perhaps more troubling than the initial misinformation was Ricciardi’s explanation of his own behaviour. Ricciardi maintains that he did not lie about Ryan’s reason for being on the DL.

In a questionable twisting of words, Ricciardi reportedly made a point of telling the media, “It’s not lies if we know the truth.”

A lot of people have probably tried to understand that sentence, wondering if that is really what Ricciardi intended to say.

Assuming Ricciardi said what he meant to say, a question for him might be: If you do know the truth and don’t report the truth, and in fact report something else, is that not a lie? In fact, is that not the definition of a lie?

Regardless, it is fair to suggest that whatever equity this General Manager has tried to establish – and milk—with the media and fans over the past several years may be harmed more by the use of intentionally disingenuous language, than by a long losing streak.

Those two things together are an even worse cocktail when it comes to his believability and credibility with the media—and fans.

As I often remind my clients, it generally takes years to build your credibility, but only a few seconds to throw it away.

Sometimes Good Guys Do Finish First

It’s hard to imagine there were many golf fans that were pulling against Phil Mickelson as he worked his way through the last 9 holes of the 2004 Masters.

That Mickelson won the tournament was as popular a victory as could be imagined. For years, the accomplished left-hander had earned a tag that the top golfers don’t really want: the best golfer never to win a major championship.

Oh, Mickelson had won his share of PGA tour events and was considered an elite player, certainly worthy of Ryder Cup play for the U.S. side, for example.

Yet he had developed, fairly or not, a reputation as a player who couldn’t win the big one, who folded somewhat under pressure; someone who perhaps did not bring the necessary ‘thinking’ and strategic tool box with him at crunch time in the big events.

It was also mentioned that he was not quite dedicated enough to winning, to getting himself into top physical condition as had others such as David Duval. He certainly did not seem to have the drive or the intensity of a Tiger Woods.

That said, Mickelson brought another quality with him to work every day, one that most professional athletes would do well to emulate: he was human and acted that way.

He was “normal”.

Even his critics would have to acknowledge that few in his sport -- and few in professional sports, period – were as patient and articulate in defeat as Mickelson. And given that he seemed to “lose” a lot, that patience was surely tested more than he might have cared for.

But unlike many in his sport (even Canada’s popular Mike Weir has been known to fly past reporters with little to say on days he does not play well), Mickelson will stand for lengthy periods of time, thoughtfully addressing the same questions over and over again.

He almost always does so, by all accounts, with as much good cheer as possible. He answers questions fully, not with short, clipped, defensive responses.

He is clearly a family man, with three young children, and for all his golf-earned wealth, appears to have a sense of perspective, which a family can certainly help achieve in terms of balancing life’s priorities. (It can be said that golfers, for the most part, can take themselves quite seriously and can provide unerring and excruciating detail on each shot they make, expressing wrenching disappointment regarding their woes in the sandtrap and such things. They sometimes give the impression they have no idea there is a world often in real pain beyond theirs.)

This is not to canonize Mickelson, simply to say the moral of the story here is this: you do often reap what you sow.

Why are people so happy for Mickelson? Not because he needs the money that winning the Masters will bring him in terms of earnings and endorsements.

No, people are happy for him, one senses, because he seems to be a genuinely decent, well-rounded guy. He loves baseball (spent some time “pitching” at a major-league training camp earlier this year, as I recall, a privilege not granted many, to be sure) and is about as accommodating as an athlete can get.

That even the media on hand was largely pulling for him demonstrates that he has earned their respect and support with his determination, accessibility, straightforwardness and honesty.

So yes, every once in a while “nice guys” can, deservedly, finish first.

And set a pretty good example for others in their field in doing so.