Pete Rose and the Hall

A media report from the New York Daily News in late July suggested baseball Commissioner Bud Selig may finally lift the lifetime ban on former Cincinnati Reds star (and disgraced manager) Pete Rose.

It is an injustice that is long overdue being rectified.

This is not to suggest for a moment that Rose should not have been punished severely for his alleged–and now proven–involvement in betting on sporting events while he was manager of the Reds. That he also bet on baseball, and perhaps his own team, had the potential to damage the integrity of the game, and should have been harshly dealt with.

It was, by the former, late Commissioner Bart Giamatti.

Since the initial allegations, investigations and suspension, Rose has not been allowed to be involved officially in baseball at any level. He was present when his son, Pete Junior, earned his first major league hit many years ago, but his formal appearances, other than at non-MLB-sponsored autograph shows, were few and far between.

Rose denied many times he bet on baseball. But that story changed as the years went by, as the possibility of his ever being enshrined in the Hall-of-Fame diminished year-by-year while he continued to deny the obvious.

Rose may not have been the most humble or likeable guy in baseball, but he is not alone in that regard in his baseball, or professional sports for that matter.

At the end of the day, there are many reasons Rose should be allowed some standing, at least, in the baseball community:

- He made a mistake. Not a small one, to be sure, and one that was repeated, clearly. But baseball is filled with individuals who made mistakes and were forgiven. Steve Howe, the former pitcher, was suspended half a dozen times by major league baseball and was always allowed to return to play the game.

- Many see gambling as a disease, a compulsive illness not unlike other kinds of addiction. Surely if it is an illness and can be treated, dealt with and potentially cured, the former athlete can be forgiven.

- Baseball has a history of cheaters prospering. Gaylord Perry acknowledged he threw an illegal pitch (for most of his 20+ year career), and yet he is enshrined in the Hall-of-Fame. Why not Rose?

- Speaking of cheaters prospering, it is inconceivable at best that Selig and the powers-that-be in baseball were unaware that players were using steroids throughout the 90’s and to the present. The late Ken Caminiti, National league MVP in 1996, admitted his own dependence years before his death. That baseball owners and general managers looked the other way when players suddenly bulked up as never before–and when 15-home-run-guys started hitting 40 and 50 home runs a season–is indisputable. It was good business for baseball to ignore the obvious, just as it is now good public relations to have a deathbed-style repentance in an effort to supposedly rid the game of performance-enhancing substances.

- If lying is a reason to keep him out, then every player who has denied using steroids over the past 15 years should be forever off the Hall-of-Fame ballot, given the obvious reliance on various banned or inappropriate substances by so many players over the past 15 or more years.

- To re-state the historical facts, Rose’s error in judgment/illness that caused his suspension occurred after his playing career was over, and when he was managing the Reds. It would be hard to argue he should be in the Hall in the “builder” category, for sure. But as the all-time leader in hits, he clearly deserves induction.

The above does not even include the fact that O.J. Simpson remains a member in good standing in the football Hall-of-Fame, presumably because that league does not judge his actions after his career was over.

History, the social convention of a call to forgiveness–and baseball simply looking at itself in the mirror–should compel Selig to do the right thing.

Maybe Rose will finally end up where he belongs, as a player, in Cooperstown, in 2010.

Fydrich: On being real

The death of Mark Fydrich brings to mind simpler times in the world of professional sports.

When Fydrich embarked on his very brief major-league career in 1976 and was stunningly successful, he caught the tradition-rich sport somewhat off guard. He had a quirky nickname (“the Bird”) and peculiar habits on the field, which have been well-documented (talking to the ball, spending time on his hands and knees re-working the mound, running to congratulate teammates on the field of play…). And while he put off some people, he radiated a boyish enthusiasm which made him popular well beyond his injury-shortened big-league career. He evidently led a simple, hard-working life as an adult. Media reports tell of neighbours who recall him as just another guy, a truly nice man who never played the “I was a somebody” card.

Why was he so popular, then and now? Well, we need only look at the way sports–and athletes–have evolved over the past 30 years to understand some of the reasons why.

Athletes now, while still playing for ‘the love of the game’, are unbelievably well-compensated. Injuries are attentively treated, rehabilitation is precise to ensure an athlete does not return before they are one-hundred per cent fit. (This is not to say that athletes today don’t play with injuries–football and hockey players prove that point regularly.) But it is to say that modern medicine and methods of training and education are simply superior, thankfully, to what was in place 30 years ago.

That said, we also often see athletes as corporations unto themselves. They are media-wary, image-conscious (see Alex Rodriguez), and often surly when the media probes too much. Not that this never occurred in generations past, but it seems ever-more the case these days. Athletes now are in tremendous physical condition (baseball being the exception, in some cases). They come to training camp in shape, not to get in shape.

Things are just very different. Sports is very much, as is often said, a business.

When Fydrich came on the scene, he was the classic wide-eyed rookie. Happily, despite his brief career (he could never duplicate his 1976 season after he hurt his arm in 1977), by all accounts he was a contended individual who was a good guy to the end. He was seen as engaging and joy-filled in his 50’s, much as he was in his 20’s as a ‘star’.

How much would Fydrich be ‘worth’ these days, in crass economic terms? Hard to say, but talent-wise it would likely start at 15 million a year. In terms of what he would mean to baseball in terms of goodwill off the field (no need for performance enhancers, an engaging, extroverted and genuinely friendly personality) the sky would be the limit.

This doesn’t even touch what he would earn as a corporate spokesperson.

In the 70’s, baseball was in a bit of a slide, as I recall. Because of the courage of Curt Flood, and after him the impact of union boss Marvin Miller and the court cases leading to player free agency, the game was changing. The game was popular, but football–both college and professional–was clearly surpassing baseball in terms of overall popularity.

Fans were still coming out to the ballparks, but buying tickets to a game was not hard. In Detroit, if I remember correctly, the Tigers might draw 10,000 or so to a game, depending on the opposition. That season that Fydrich joined them and created a storm, 50,000 would show up to watch him in action. Every time. Non-baseball fans went. He was that much of an attraction, a curiosity, a star, a draw. He must have made the Tigers a ton on the “bottom line” that season, as he was likely drawing a rookie salary of ridiculously small proportions compared with the modern day.

I didn’t know Fydrich and never had the opportunity to interview him in the years I was involved in sports broadcasting. Looking back, I wish I had. Un-rehearsed and natural, likeable and delightful in good times and bad, he was unlike most of what had followed.

Today, we tend to knock that naturalness out of our young athletes. Make them corporate, dull, rehearsed. It is easy to understand, as the media have a long history of falling very quickly in–and out of–love with young “stars”.

Fydrich leaves a mark, as good people do. Not, perhaps, because he was a baseball ‘star’, but because he never played that part.

Working together effectively with parents: 10 tips for youth sports coaches

Below is one of my most-requested online articles, published on the Prospect blog for the first time.  It has been reproduced on the websites of numerous youth-sports-related organizations. This article is copyrighted to the author and may not be reproduced without obtaining written permission. To inquire about licensing the right to reproduce any of the enclosed content email: inquiries@prospectcommunications.com

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Most youth hockey coaches would probably agree—at least privately—that one of their biggest challenges as a coach is interacting with parents.

Parents—understandably so—care first and foremost about their own son or daughter. We all talk about teamwork but at the end of the day, if truth really be told, most of us focus almost exclusively on what we think is best for our own child.

We talk about “fair play”, but that lasts until we get to the field or arena. Far too many of us want to “win”, or should I say see our child’s team “win”. This translates into comments that we as parents make about who gets the most ice team, who should be on the team, and on its goes.

Coaches face many situations that must indeed be handled thoughtfully. Even if a youth coach does not have his or her own son or daughter on the team (that’s a piece for another day), there is much to plan for.

Remember this as you consider the following points: How you say what you say may be more important in many instances than what you actually say. Your tone and your attitude either help—or seriously harm—the message you are trying to deliver.

1) Communicate ‘till it hurts.

Poor communication—or lack of communication—kills relationships of all kinds: parent-child, wife-husband, teacher-student, coach-player.

Good communication—clear, articulate, ongoing, positive and genuine communication is vitally important for youth coaches.

As soon as you, as a coach, commit to entering into a true “relationship” with a young person, you are by necessity stepping into a relationship with their parents or guardians.

Don’t just have one “meeting” at the beginning of the season in the parking lot at the practice field and feel that you have done your job. It is imperative that you meet or at least speak with parents on a regular basis, privately or in a group, to stop any simmering concerns before they become real problems.

2) Hearing is a sense; listening is a skill.

We surely all recognize there is a big difference between hearing and truly taking in what someone else is saying to us.

Listening is a skill, and like all skills, it can be developed if we care enough to make it a priority.

Work on enhancing your listening skills, and your relationships—including with your players’ parents—will generally improve.

3) Don’t assume you have all the answers.

Like the young players you train and coach, sometimes parents have something to offer. At least be open to what people have to say. They may have experience you don’t have.

This is not to suggest that your parents should lead you by the nose and tell you what to do. You are the coach and you are in charge. By all means lead the way. But don’t assume you have all the answers. Be open to opinions and ideas, from parents and players.

4) Establish joint expectations.

Once the team is selected, or put together (depending on whether it is a “rep”, “All-Star” or house-league squad), make the time to sit down for a few minutes, privately, with each family and the player to review mutual expectations.

Do this before the season starts.

If you agree, or at least can mutually accept, what the plan is for your child (ice time, role on the team, skills that must be developed, discipline or attitude adjustments, etc.) before the season starts, there is much less likelihood of upset, misunderstanding or bitterness as the season wears on.

5) Face to face, private—away from the rink.

Too often youth coaches have “meetings” with parents at the rink in front of other people.

The timing—and the location—is off. It simply doesn’t work.

When you need to have a conversation with a parent, or they need to speak with you, agree on a time and place to meet—away from the rink.

A private meeting should be just that—private.

6) Make it clear that your yelling is not personal.

All youth coaches are different. Some are quiet, nurturing. Others are yellers, more bombastic and colorful.

Most really do care about the kids they work with, regardless of the way they sometimes present themselves to others.

If you are a “yeller”, someone who instructs forcefully during games or practices, make a point of reminding—and reassuring—parents that your comments to the players are meant as instructive, not as personal criticisms.

If you make that clear—and it is truly the case—parents can sit back and enjoy the game.

7) The 24-hour rule.

This is by no means a new concept, but we should still remind ourselves: if we, as parents, are upset by a situation at the rink, most of the time it is healthy for us to sleep on it, cool down a little and wait a good 24 hours before we make that phone call to a coach or another parent.

Similarly, a youth coach should hold his or her tongue on most occasions, before saying something to a young player or parent after a game or practice that may unnecessarily lead to hurt feelings.

Wait a day, and you will likely make whatever point you wanted to make in a more composed, thoughtful and sensitive manner.

8) Insist that parents not coach from the sidelines.

Parents who think they know the game have a tendency to yell instructions to their offspring from the stands.

Unfortunately, along with being a major distraction for their son or daughter (and other players on the field), they may be yelling instructions that are in direct contradiction with what the coaches want the player to do in particular circumstances.

As the coach-leader, you have to lay down the law. Parents should be on hand to support their own child and the team, in a positive manner. Full stop.

9) Discourage parents from talking about other people’s kids.

This is so important. Negativity is toxic and spreads quickly.

It is also important that youth coaches do everything they can to discourage parents from negative rink behaviour. From debating who did or didn’t deserve to be on a certain team, to comments about a child’s playing ability, the coach needs to be a strong, positive example in this regard, and work to keep parents thinking—and talking—positively about all the players on your team.

10) Create a checklist.

Before and during each season, create and revise brief checklists as a reminder of the things you want to communicate with your parents. Set up a time table and review a list of issues that you feel will be important to review and discuss with the group throughout the course of the season.

It’s not enough to have a meeting at the beginning of the season and then provide no feedback for the next 8 months.

Bonus suggestion: Ask each parent before the season starts to write down what they want and need from you in terms of communication from you as their child’s coach.

You may not be able to deliver on everything that people ask for, but be aware, at least, of their expectations. And ask parents what motivates their son or daughter. This knowledge can help you tremendously to get “inside” the psyche of the young person you are there to develop as an athlete—and as a person.

Good youth coaches are more than people who know how to teach “systems” or implement checking schemes. They know the value of positive, constant communication not only with their players, but with the people who drive their players to each and every game and practicethe parents.

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Michael Langlois, founder of Prospect Communications Inc., is the author of the following books: 1) A Guide to Better Communication for Minor Hockey Coaches,  2) How Well Do You Communicate? A Guide to Better Communication with Players and Parents for Minor (Youth) Soccer Coaches, 3) An NHL Prospect's Guide, 4) The Professional Hockey Coaches' Handbook, 5) The Job Interview Guide for Professional Hockey Coaches.  The Prospect Communications web site is located at http://www.prospectcommunications.com/This article is copyrighted to the author and may not be reproduced without obtaining written permission. To inquire about licensing the right to reproduce any of the enclosed content email: inquiries@prospectcommunications.com 

Doing the right thing when interacting with your players: The checklist for youth hockey coaches

Youth hockey coaches have a difficult job. They are the key decision-makers. They set examples. Players look to them for leadership. Club administrators—and parents—look to them to make good choices.

As adults we often speak to our young people about making choices—preferably intelligent, positive choices.

That said, coaches make choices, too. They can choose to be the kind of coach that cares only about “winning”, or a coach that has a deeper—and longer-lasting—impact on the young people they coach and the families whose lives they touch.

Here are some tips to help make the coaching experience better for you—and the young people you interact with:

1) Build confidence in your players.

Too often young athletes have their confidence shattered by their coach. Ask anyone in sports, including top professional athletes: when you lose your confidence, performance suffers and it becomes a vicious cycle. As a coach, regardless of whether you are soft-spoken, a yeller or somewhere in between, you must show confidence in your athletes—and constantly build their self-confidence. Wouldn’t you rather be the one coach the player looks back on and says—“That person really believed in me and made a difference in my life…” than the coach who is a negative caricature in the minds of your former players?

2) Identify the real team players on your squad.

Coaches so often want to build a team with stars that they neglect to identify the young athletes who will be the glue that keeps a team together, and keeps them successful. There are obviously many attributes of a “team player”, but for starters, look for young people who are good teammates, who support other players, who are unselfish, and treat other players and people with respect. A really good coach would rather ‘lose’ with a bunch of fine young people than ‘win’ with a group of talented prima donnas who care only about themselves and not the team.

3) Communicate regularly and honestly.

Young players need regular feedback. You should never go weeks or months without providing constructive feedback on their performance. If they are not meeting your expectations, either in terms of performance or attitude, speak with them—privately. That said, the first thing you should do is set mutually understood expectations at the beginning of each season. Meet with the player alone to do this (and with their parents, when age appropriate), away from everyone else.

4) Explain clearly what you want and then demonstrate what you want.

I often see coaches demand, yell, threaten. Most coaches are not Tony Dungee (coach of the NFL Super Bowl Champion Indianapolis Colts) who rarely, if ever, speaks above his “normal” voice. Parents and players expect—and accept—some loudness from a coach. A little loudness may even help sometimes! But be sure to explain clearly what you want to see, then show what you want. Young soccer players need to see what you’re talking about, so if you can’t show/demonstrate what you want, bring in a guest instructor who can.

5) Recognize that every young person/athlete is motivated differently.

Not every athlete—or person—responds to the same stimuli. Some athletes are self-driven, some may need a shove in the behind, others need encouragement. Whatever, the key is to find out what is behind every player’s mental door. Speak to the player. Get to know them. Find out what motivates them. Find out what they really love about the sport they play—this will give you a look behind the door. Again if age appropriate, speak with their parents. They may have insight that will help you inspire your young player.

6) Recognize that you have a potentially huge affect on the young people you coach.

Parents clearly have a seminal influence on the lives of their children. Particular teachers can have a major impact. But there’s no question youth coaches have a huge affect on many of the young players on their team. What you say, how you say it, how you act and how you treat people does matter—a lot. Ask yourself: How will I want to be remembered by this group of players, by each individual player, in 20 years?

Be the kind of coach that will make people remember you fondly, as a positive inspiration in their life, as someone who made a real difference, whether they go on in the sporting field or not. Your players will remember you for a long, long time. What do you want their memory of you to be?

7) Don’t hide your head in the sand. Make yourself aware of personality conflicts on your team, and work to resolve them.

Many youth coaches don’t want to know if there are conflicts on their young team. Worse, if they do know there are issues, they don’t know how to deal with the situation effectively. Just like adults, we can’t expect young people, particularly young people competing against one another for playing time and recognition, etc. to always like each other, or to get along. But you can make it a point to hear, watch and see what’s going on. And you, as the team leader, can engender a sense of camaraderie, togetherness, and foster the notion of respect for each other on and off the field of play. Insist on it.

8) Keep your players’ egos in check.

Some coaches may not think that this is an issue in youth sports, but in this day and age, it is. Young people see “the pros” showboating, trash-talking and generally acting in a manner that most parents would not approve of.

While we all want our kids to have healthy self-esteem and a good sense of self-worth, too much “attitude” can lead to an over-developed sense of self-importance. As coach, you have the opportunity—and the responsibility—to see that your players don’t fall into this pattern. If you don’t deal with it, you will generally see a negative impact on the players, your team, and your efforts to build a tight-knit group.

9) Listen to your players. Don’t assume you have all the answers.

We adults often think we have the answers, because we have “life experience”. This life experience can lead to wisdom. It can also lead to rigid thinking that hasn’t changed in decades. This certainly applies to coaching. Coaches who say, “this is the way it was in my day”, or think because they played the game at a high level that they know everything there is to know, may be doing their players a disservice. The way things were done in “your day” may not have been the best way. Much like parenting, why would we want to repeat the mistakes made by our own parents? I work professionally with many young athletes and I often hear of their frustration with coaches who just won’t listen, won’t take input from those who are actually on the field, playing the game NOW. Hearing is a sense. Listening is a skill. Develop that skill—especially when it comes to relating to your players.

One other thing on this subject: As I mentioned earlier, take the time to find out what each player really loves about hockey. Sometimes a coach will be with a young person for an entire season and will never bother to find out that the player loves a certain aspect of the sport. Find out. Then build on that to help them become an even better all-around player.

10) Model real leadership. Don’t talk “we” and act “me”. If you talk about leadership but don’t live it, your players will tune you out.

Leadership is easy to talk – and write about— and much harder to show. But as a youth sports coach, you have a wonderful opportunity to model positive leadership. How you speak with your players, the way you instruct, how you handle situations when players make mistakes and how you communicate with players on a daily basis are all vitally important examples of your leadership style. You are showing by your own actual behavioral example what you believe is the “right” way for an adult in a position of authority to handle themselves. You should always have handy a mental checklist, a self-monitoring system that makes you ask yourself, “will I feel badly tomorrow about what I am about to say or do right now?”

We all make mistakes, and if you make one, be strong enough to acknowledge that you let a player down and then apologize to them. The willingness to do that will set a tremendous example as well.

11) Be consistent in your discipline and expectations, regardless of whether it’s your “stars” or those who play less often.

Young people generally recognize pretty quickly when a coach says one thing, then does something different. While you should aim to get to know all of your players as individuals, and know what motivates them and react accordingly, you should establish firm team expectations – and stick with them. Suppose “star” players miss practice regularly, or don’t work hard in drills, or put down their teammates (or act out in games against opponents or referees). Do you ignore this behavior because you “need” that player to “win”? The players should know what your rules, guidelines and expectations are, and realize there will be consequences—regardless of who breaks the rules.

12) The Golden Rule: Monitor how your players treat one another.

For some coaches, this notion is somehow totally unimportant. It should be important to you. If you have certain players putting down others on a young team, it’s toxic and spreads. Don’t be lulled into thinking it doesn’t matter. It does. The world is still full of “Eddie Haskell” (a famous teenage character from the classic ‘Leave It To Beaver’ television program) types—kids who are nice to the coach or certain adults, but are jerks to teammates or others they don’t like.

If you see inappropriate behavior of any kind, deal with it firmly. The old adage “boys will be boys” doesn’t cut it—in male or female youth sports. Talk to the instigator/s privately and make it clear you will not tolerate that behavior on your team, full stop.

13) Be respectful of parents.

Youth coaches (sometimes understandably) tend to look at parents as necessary evils. We parents can be a pain, no question. Coaches don’t want to “deal” with parents, and delegate an assistant coach or team manager to handle all interpersonal situations. You may be saying to yourself, “Hey, I’m a volunteer, I already give up lots of my time…” which is a fair point if you don’t have a son or daughter on your team. But parents do deserve to know how their son or daughter is doing, why they are playing a lot or a little, and if there are things they could be doing to make the overall soccer experience for their child a better one. Ideally, set aside a night every few weeks to have telephone appointments to discuss progress, privately, calmly and away from the field.

14) Always be open to new players, but be loyal to dedicated returning players.

Just because a player made an “all-star” or “rep” team at the age of 10 shouldn’t give them an automatic renewal license for all long as they want to stay on a team. This can lead to a sense of entitlement that is not healthy. A young athlete should have to constantly enhance their skills, work diligently, attend practices, volunteer time, and maintain a positive attitude. If you have a real team player on your hands, keep them. If a new player comes by who may have a little more talent—be open but also keep your eyes open. Too often coaches are willing to sacrifice a solid but unspectacular player for an incoming “star”, but remember—the star may bring some baggage, so do your homework.

15) Ask yourself: Are you being the adult in the relationship with your player/players?

In my advisory work with young athletes, I regularly see situations (albeit from the perspective of the young athlete) where it strikes me that the player has to assume the role of the adult in the coach-player relationship. The coach doesn’t have a true open door policy, may be a ‘talker’ but not an effective communicator, may be a de-motivator, etc. When issues arise, there is silence, not an effort to resolve things and so feelings fester and simmer. This forces the young person to plan a strategy to deal effectively with the situation. I often will recommend that the young person initiate a private tete-a-tete, since the coach seems uninterested or unwilling to address an obvious problem. The meeting doesn’t always solve the issue, but at least there is an attempt at open communication.

As the coach, you be the adult. You are the adult, so accept the responsibility. Set a high standard in terms of your performance and behavior expectations of the young athletes (but understand they are young and will make mistakes), and in return do the same to and for yourself.

16) Recognize that every player on your team must not only feel they are an important part of your team/success, they must know it. That comes from you.

I quite often will hear a professional coach say things such as, “As a coach, I try to make everyone on the team feel important”. Well, that’s all very nice. All your players should feel important. But your job is not to make them feel important, it is to make them know and fully understand that they really are important. In any team sport, not even the greatest players of their generation—Bobby Orr, Wayne Gretzky, Jim Brown, Michael Jordan, Pele—could win a game, much less a championship, on their own. Every player on their squad likely contributed something significant at some point that changed the outcome of a particular game or season. Your players, especially the ones who perhaps play less than the others, need to know clearly they are an invaluable part of any success your team has. And you need to make this understood to all your players, especially those who think they are the straw that stirs the drink.

17) Are there consequences to your expectations or are they just idle threats?

In short, we don’t need to be a psychologist to understand that if your leadership, rules and expectations are to have any impact, you must be consistent not only in outlining but also in acting upon your expectations. It is imperative that you demonstrate that there are clear consequences. Anything short of real consequences and these smart young people will call your bluff and tune you out—to your face, or behind your back.

18) If you cannot provide certain expertise find it for your team.

In this day and age, coaches should be humble enough to recognize they don’t know everything. Fitness and nutrition are important, so if this is not an area you have knowledge about, bring in people who do to share information with your athletes. As a coach, if you have no legitimate expertise as a goalie coach, for example, seek out someone who can provide it. Misinformation or poor instruction are probably worse in these instances than no information or instruction at all. Many a young goalie has been harmed mentally and emotionally by a coach who simply does not know what they are talking about.

Michael Langlois, founder of Prospect Communications Inc., is the author of the book, “How Well Do You Communicate? A Guide to Better Communication with Players and Parents for Minor (Youth) Soccer Coaches”. Prospect’s web site is located at http://www.prospectcommunications.com. This article is copyrighted to the author and may not be reproduced without obtaining written permission. To inquire about licensing the right to reproduce any of the enclosed content email: inquiries@prospectcommunications.com

The only reason Sean Avery will ever make you think of Bobby Orr

Sean Avery and Bobby Orr in the same breath?

Not really. It’s simply that Avery’s latest and rather tasteless public outburst brought to mind someone who was – and is – very much unlike the veteran Dallas Stars forward.

Bobby Orr comes to mind because, publicly, he has always been everything someone like Avery is not. Quiet, rather dull, humble, perhaps even shy. And certainly not someone to seek the limelight.

Orr’s number 2 was recently retired by the Oshawa Generals of the Ontario Hockey League. Orr played in Oshawa from the age of 14 to his graduation to the Bruins at the age of 18. By all accounts the Oshawa organization had offered this honor many times over the years, but Orr declined because he was uncomfortable with all the fuss that would be made. (Orr has been, in recent years, a successful and well-regarded player agent.) He finally relented and the night went well.

I remember a chance encounter I had back in the fall of 1966, Orr’s rookie season as an 18 year-old with the Boston Bruins.

I was raised in a small town in southwestern Ontario, about a 4 hour drive from Toronto in those days. My eldest brother was receiving his Masters degree at Convocation Hall at the University of Toronto on a Friday night. (I believe the late Carl Brewer, a wonderful player with the Leafs in the early 60’s who had retired from pro hockey for a time, was also receiving a degree that night.)

I was the youngest of the family and we drove up that day to attend the graduation ceremony. We had not announced our intentions early enough to obtain seats for everyone, so my Dad and I were the ones left to “stand”, while my Mom, sister and my brother’s fiancée found seating.

That night, I never got inside the auditorium. Instead we just stood in the hall, waiting for the lengthy event to end. (When you’re 13, hearing hundreds of names read out in sequence when you can’t even see the "action" was pretty dull stuff.)

With nothing to do but kill time, I roamed around the halls. My Dad was leaning up against a wall near the exit, reading a newspaper.

I happened to notice some men (they all seemed like fairly old guys to me) in a small group, sharing stories and having a few laughs. One of them, younger than the others, was taking part in the frivolity. What caught my eye was that the young guy seemed somehow familiar. To me, he looked like Bobby Orr.

Now to put things in context, back in 1966, we didn’t have the kind of media exposure that is common today for politicians, entertainers or athletes. I had seen Orr’s picture in the hometown newspaper’s sports pages, and maybe (maybe) had seen him interviewed on television on Hockey Night in Canada.

But this was Orr’s rookie season, and as ballyhooed as his arrival to the NHL was back then, I could not be sure of what I was seeing right in front of me.

I ran over to my Dad and told him that I thought I had just seen Bobby Orr. My Dad didn’t even look up from his newspaper. "Why would Bobby Orr be here?" he said. He wasn’t being sarcastic--simply, in his mind, realistic. Kids, after all, are prone to dramatize.

But I knew the Bruins were playing the Leafs in Toronto the next (Saturday) night, so I knew that Orr could be in Toronto, at least.

I went back to eavesdrop on the group’s conversation. Just at that moment, the young guy started to pull away from his friends, and I heard someone say, "See you, Bobby".

That was all I needed to hear. I hustled over to my father and announced what I heard, and pleaded with him to at least check this guy out. By now, even my Dad was sensing I may not be crazy. It so happened that the young fellow had to work his way through a crowded hall and walk by us to get to the exit.

It was a moment I no doubt sized up as a once-in-a-lifetime fluke that would not ever come my way again. With my hopeful eyes on the fast-developing situation, my Dad rose to the occasion and gently, but firmly, grabbed the young man by the arm as he hustled by.

"Excuse me", my Dad said to him. “This young man here thinks he knows you. Do you mind if I ask you your name?”

"Bob Orr", came the reply.

I’d hit the mother lode. My Dad said, "Shake hands with my son". I shook Orr’s hand, who was quiet, and gracious. He was only 5 years older than me, but honest to God, I might as well have been meeting Jesus. It was that big a deal to me.

When we had driven back to my older sister’s home (she lived in Mississauga, as I recall, though it wasn’t called that in those days, it was probably Port Credit) I thought not about my brother’s hard-earned academic achievement, which was the reason for our rare visit to the big city but about meeting the best young hockey player I had ever seen (and as it turns out, would ever see).

I joked about never washing my right hand again, and probably didn’t, for a time.

Certainly there are athletes today who are gracious and humble, and would be so in meeting a young admirer. But all too often you have to stand in line and then pay for the honor.

The world has changed in the last 40 years. Attitudes, media, technology, money.

Oh well.

It was nice to read about Orr’s comments on his special night in Oshawa. A man of 60 now, but still publicly humble and gracious.

Maybe Sean Avery will be that way 30 years from now. But if so, he’s got a long way to go.