Just days ago, in Southern Ontario, a "brawl" of sorts broke out during a hockey game.
That in and of itself is not stirring news. But when we discover that the participants were not professionals or even junior age players, but rather 8 year-olds, it does beg some questions, including:
- Where are the "coaches" in these situations? At the NHL level, in this day and age, coaches are suspended in situations where they are seen to not be "in control" of their players—players who themselves are grown men. Are these youth "coaches" not "in control" of their players?
- What messages are these young, impressionable children (they are children, not "athletes", at this age) receiving from their coaches?
- If we can’t "blame" the children for this kind of event, then where do we look? What influence are parents having, for example? The media?
We’ve all heard time and again that the "problem" is that parents all think their kinds will make it to the pro level, and thus are over-invested in their kids. And this leads, based on that theory, to misplaced priorities, etc.
But surely we’re not having brawls at the age of 8 because ALL the parents of these kids think they are raising future NHL’ers.
Are we taking youth sports way too seriously? Are our priorities in fact messed up? Do we keep score too soon? Is the pervasive ‘winning at all costs’ attitude seeping all the way down to the youngest levels of the game?
It’s too easy to generalize, but this is serious stuff. Not the "sky is falling" kind of serious, perhaps, but it’s serious when little kids start hockey brawls.
Hockey Canada and various provincial Associations have spent tons of money in recent years on education—ad campaigns directed at parents, seminars for coaches, clinics on not hitting from behind, players wearing STOP patches, studies on concussions and much more.
But as long as Canada wins gold every year at the World Juniors, everyone is happy.
What’s a brawl or two on the way to what’s really important?
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Criticizing a teammate has its price
I’ve spoken often in these commentaries about the importance of being a true team player.
This applies at any level, from elite youth sports to the professional ranks.
It is not easy to be a team player. Every athlete, every competitor, wants to be on the field of play, wants to contribute to their team’s success and wants to be recognized in some fashion.
This can put you at odds with the “team” concept when you are the one called upon to take a seat—especially if you are generally a “starter” and expect to play.
The fact that in sports we count not only wins and losses (a team stat) but goals and assists, or home runs and touchdowns (individual stats) makes it even more difficult.
We hear, for example, about the NFL running back that gains 2,000 yards in a season, but most fans could not name two of the offensive linemen who made the blocks to allow the all-star back to shine.
This makes the player who contributes in subtle but important ways less visible to most fans, though generally not to astute coaches.
One recent example of the difficulty in being a ‘team player’ came as the U.S. women’s soccer team was preparing to play the semi-final of a World Cup qualifier against Brazil.
The U.S. coach decided to play a veteran keeper over a younger goalie, Hope Solo, who had played well leading up to the Brazil game.
The U.S. lost 4-0 and afterwards, on her personal web site, Solo commented that,
"There's no doubt in my mind I would have made those saves," Solo said. "You have to live in the present. And you can't live by big names. You can't live in the past."
The implication was clear: the U.S. squad started the other goalie based on past reputation; she (Solo) would have made the stops the other goalie didn’t.
And Solo said so publicly.
Reaction to her comments was quite negative.
Seemingly trying to work her way through the reaction—so as not to appear as though she had “jumped ship”, in terms of standing by her teammates—an ESPN web story later related the following:
On Friday, Solo said while she still doubts Ryan's strategy, she did not mean to hurt Scurry.
"Although I stand strong in everything I said, the true disheartening moment for me was realizing it could look as though I was taking a direct shot at my own teammate," Solo said, according to the Web site. "I would never throw such a low blow. Never."
Is it easy to understand Solo’s frustration at being benched before the biggest game of the year?
Certainly.
But did she, in effect, cross the invisible line when she made her initial post-game comments?
Yes again.
A day later, the U.S. team’s Head Coach removed Solo from the squad, perhaps only temporarily. But she was not even on the bench when the U.S. won the event’s third-place game.
The coach’s comment:
“We have moved forward with 20 players who have stood by each other, who have battled for each other. And when the hard times came -- and the Brazil game was a hard time -- they stood strong."
The inference was clear: Solo, in making her comments—and subsequent apology notwithstanding—had indeed crossed that invisible line.
I have often reiterated that the media criticizes athletes for being vanilla, but in the same breath often admonishes them when they are candid and honest.
In this instance, Solo’s sin was not simply being honest and speaking her mind, but seemingly putting her own feelings above those of the team, in a public forum.
Is this fair?
Coaches want athletes who are confident, who believe in themselves. Solo was showing, by her comments, that she believed very strongly in herself.
But when she made the comments, she also, perhaps inadvertently, criticized her own teammate.
Reports suggest the U.S. may now bring in other goalies as part of the national squad going forward.
There is sometimes a price to pay for speaking out. In this instance, the comments will be remembered for a long time in the soccer world, and will no doubt follow Solo.
A steep price, for sure.
The cooling-off period between the game and the time she created her web comments might have provided Solo with the opportunity to massage the rough edges of her true feelings.
For reasons only she can answer, she chose to go a different route with her public comments.
Once made, you can’t take them back.
This applies at any level, from elite youth sports to the professional ranks.
It is not easy to be a team player. Every athlete, every competitor, wants to be on the field of play, wants to contribute to their team’s success and wants to be recognized in some fashion.
This can put you at odds with the “team” concept when you are the one called upon to take a seat—especially if you are generally a “starter” and expect to play.
The fact that in sports we count not only wins and losses (a team stat) but goals and assists, or home runs and touchdowns (individual stats) makes it even more difficult.
We hear, for example, about the NFL running back that gains 2,000 yards in a season, but most fans could not name two of the offensive linemen who made the blocks to allow the all-star back to shine.
This makes the player who contributes in subtle but important ways less visible to most fans, though generally not to astute coaches.
One recent example of the difficulty in being a ‘team player’ came as the U.S. women’s soccer team was preparing to play the semi-final of a World Cup qualifier against Brazil.
The U.S. coach decided to play a veteran keeper over a younger goalie, Hope Solo, who had played well leading up to the Brazil game.
The U.S. lost 4-0 and afterwards, on her personal web site, Solo commented that,
"There's no doubt in my mind I would have made those saves," Solo said. "You have to live in the present. And you can't live by big names. You can't live in the past."
The implication was clear: the U.S. squad started the other goalie based on past reputation; she (Solo) would have made the stops the other goalie didn’t.
And Solo said so publicly.
Reaction to her comments was quite negative.
Seemingly trying to work her way through the reaction—so as not to appear as though she had “jumped ship”, in terms of standing by her teammates—an ESPN web story later related the following:
On Friday, Solo said while she still doubts Ryan's strategy, she did not mean to hurt Scurry.
"Although I stand strong in everything I said, the true disheartening moment for me was realizing it could look as though I was taking a direct shot at my own teammate," Solo said, according to the Web site. "I would never throw such a low blow. Never."
Is it easy to understand Solo’s frustration at being benched before the biggest game of the year?
Certainly.
But did she, in effect, cross the invisible line when she made her initial post-game comments?
Yes again.
A day later, the U.S. team’s Head Coach removed Solo from the squad, perhaps only temporarily. But she was not even on the bench when the U.S. won the event’s third-place game.
The coach’s comment:
“We have moved forward with 20 players who have stood by each other, who have battled for each other. And when the hard times came -- and the Brazil game was a hard time -- they stood strong."
The inference was clear: Solo, in making her comments—and subsequent apology notwithstanding—had indeed crossed that invisible line.
I have often reiterated that the media criticizes athletes for being vanilla, but in the same breath often admonishes them when they are candid and honest.
In this instance, Solo’s sin was not simply being honest and speaking her mind, but seemingly putting her own feelings above those of the team, in a public forum.
Is this fair?
Coaches want athletes who are confident, who believe in themselves. Solo was showing, by her comments, that she believed very strongly in herself.
But when she made the comments, she also, perhaps inadvertently, criticized her own teammate.
Reports suggest the U.S. may now bring in other goalies as part of the national squad going forward.
There is sometimes a price to pay for speaking out. In this instance, the comments will be remembered for a long time in the soccer world, and will no doubt follow Solo.
A steep price, for sure.
The cooling-off period between the game and the time she created her web comments might have provided Solo with the opportunity to massage the rough edges of her true feelings.
For reasons only she can answer, she chose to go a different route with her public comments.
Once made, you can’t take them back.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Bill Belichick: stand in line
That an NFL team has been "caught" cheating (illegal videotaping of opposition signals) should come as little surprise. Cheating has been a temptation in—and a part of—sports for all long as we all can remember.
It is part of the human condition, it would seem—at least the temptation to do so. Everyone wants to get “the edge”, whether achieved “legally” or otherwise.
The examples of cheating in sports are many. Hall-of-Fame pitcher Gaylord Perry was a well-known “cheat”, scuffing and greasing baseballs on his way to 300+ career victories. No one speaks of his plaque being taken down at Cooperstown. Fellow Hall-of-Famer Whitey Ford has admitted publicly that he cheated toward the end of his career in an effort to hang on; he is still a hero to many. Well-known White Sox broadcaster and former player Ken “Hawk” Harrelson has admitted that he corked his bat; many others have done the same through the years. (Albert Belle and Sammy Sosa were caught; most aren’t.)
But the slippery ethical slope has manifested itself in myriad ways in the current era, and it does not reflect well on professional sports, or its ongoing and pervasively negative influence on youth sports.
Professional sports is entertainment, to be sure. Perhaps we assume an element of trickery, of ego, of smugness— among other less than admirable traits.
But far too many pro athletes act as though a good play must be followed by a Hulk Hogan pose or a dance. The limits of what is acceptable bend further and further every year.
We all understand that greed is at the forefront of the pro game. I recall my father and I, in the late 1970’s, discussing that Bruce Sutter held out for the then un-heard of (for a relief pitcher) sum of $700,000, I think it was. His comment was that he had to look out for his family’s future. My dad, who raised 5 children and never made more than $6,000 a year in his life, couldn’t believe the comment. He must have wondered how athletes could be such poor financial planners.
Thirty years later, we actually hear athletes saying the same thing when they are “insulted” by the latest multi-million dollar offer from their clubs. They need even more, because, we are told, they must “look out for their family’s future”.
Remarkable. Is it the arrogance, the selfishness, or the simple lack of perspective that people find disheartening?
(It is these same athletes, in the NFL, for example, who can’t share their immense wealth to help retired athletes who are now destitute and in need of basic medial care, but that is a situation we have already discussed…)
We already have young athletes talking back to umpires and to hockey and soccer referees; diving on the ice and the soccer pitch looking to draw un-deserved fouls, utilizing attitudes and “skills” they have learned from the pros. (This does not even take into account example of athletes who run afoul of the law, seemingly because they, with their wealth and their sense of superiority, believe they are above the law…and other people.)
But now, we are going beyond mere greed, or bad behaviour that sets a poor example for young people.
Now, the integrity of the game itself is coming into question.
Just in the last couple of years, professional soccer has seen massive scandals in Italy and elsewhere, specifically with Clubs and Referees on the take. Juventus gets pushed down one division and is right back in the top League. Not much of a lesson there.
Baseball saw records smashed in the 1990’s. Does anyone believe those records were set without the use of steroids? Not a chance. People – the media, fans, the commissioner—knew what was happening then, and they know it now. But it was OK when the game needed a boost. Now a kind of deathbed, superficial show of repentance is on display. Players like Rafael Palmeiro become a scapegoat because they are “caught”.
Basketball has it own issues. A referee is going to jail because he was involved in fixing games. This is the NBA, the league that didn’t want people in the province of Ontario to be able to bet on Raptor games through ProLine, if I recall correctly.
And now it is confirmed that the 3-time Super Bowl Champion Patriots and their future Hall-of-Fame Coach have cheated. Not by accident, by design.
To add insult to injury, Bill Belichick won’t comment on the deception. No regrets, no real apologies—saying only that he is “moving on”.
I’m sure he is.
The League’s response: a modest fine, and a lost draft choice.
(Pete Rose won’t be allowed into the Hall-of Fame because he bet on baseball games, though he did this as a manager, not a player…He was banned for life and we don’t even know if his betting influenced his judgment as a manager. We know what the Patriots did gave them a competitive advantage but they receive not even a suspension of any kind…)
Many used to think boxing was the sport that was seen as tainted because of its apparent connection with organized crime.
Now, is it fair to say that most major professional sports are no better than boxing ever was in ethical terms?
What do we tell our kids?
Or do we bother to even have the conversation because it’s too late to change how we view sports, and the role of sports in society?
It is part of the human condition, it would seem—at least the temptation to do so. Everyone wants to get “the edge”, whether achieved “legally” or otherwise.
The examples of cheating in sports are many. Hall-of-Fame pitcher Gaylord Perry was a well-known “cheat”, scuffing and greasing baseballs on his way to 300+ career victories. No one speaks of his plaque being taken down at Cooperstown. Fellow Hall-of-Famer Whitey Ford has admitted publicly that he cheated toward the end of his career in an effort to hang on; he is still a hero to many. Well-known White Sox broadcaster and former player Ken “Hawk” Harrelson has admitted that he corked his bat; many others have done the same through the years. (Albert Belle and Sammy Sosa were caught; most aren’t.)
But the slippery ethical slope has manifested itself in myriad ways in the current era, and it does not reflect well on professional sports, or its ongoing and pervasively negative influence on youth sports.
Professional sports is entertainment, to be sure. Perhaps we assume an element of trickery, of ego, of smugness— among other less than admirable traits.
But far too many pro athletes act as though a good play must be followed by a Hulk Hogan pose or a dance. The limits of what is acceptable bend further and further every year.
We all understand that greed is at the forefront of the pro game. I recall my father and I, in the late 1970’s, discussing that Bruce Sutter held out for the then un-heard of (for a relief pitcher) sum of $700,000, I think it was. His comment was that he had to look out for his family’s future. My dad, who raised 5 children and never made more than $6,000 a year in his life, couldn’t believe the comment. He must have wondered how athletes could be such poor financial planners.
Thirty years later, we actually hear athletes saying the same thing when they are “insulted” by the latest multi-million dollar offer from their clubs. They need even more, because, we are told, they must “look out for their family’s future”.
Remarkable. Is it the arrogance, the selfishness, or the simple lack of perspective that people find disheartening?
(It is these same athletes, in the NFL, for example, who can’t share their immense wealth to help retired athletes who are now destitute and in need of basic medial care, but that is a situation we have already discussed…)
We already have young athletes talking back to umpires and to hockey and soccer referees; diving on the ice and the soccer pitch looking to draw un-deserved fouls, utilizing attitudes and “skills” they have learned from the pros. (This does not even take into account example of athletes who run afoul of the law, seemingly because they, with their wealth and their sense of superiority, believe they are above the law…and other people.)
But now, we are going beyond mere greed, or bad behaviour that sets a poor example for young people.
Now, the integrity of the game itself is coming into question.
Just in the last couple of years, professional soccer has seen massive scandals in Italy and elsewhere, specifically with Clubs and Referees on the take. Juventus gets pushed down one division and is right back in the top League. Not much of a lesson there.
Baseball saw records smashed in the 1990’s. Does anyone believe those records were set without the use of steroids? Not a chance. People – the media, fans, the commissioner—knew what was happening then, and they know it now. But it was OK when the game needed a boost. Now a kind of deathbed, superficial show of repentance is on display. Players like Rafael Palmeiro become a scapegoat because they are “caught”.
Basketball has it own issues. A referee is going to jail because he was involved in fixing games. This is the NBA, the league that didn’t want people in the province of Ontario to be able to bet on Raptor games through ProLine, if I recall correctly.
And now it is confirmed that the 3-time Super Bowl Champion Patriots and their future Hall-of-Fame Coach have cheated. Not by accident, by design.
To add insult to injury, Bill Belichick won’t comment on the deception. No regrets, no real apologies—saying only that he is “moving on”.
I’m sure he is.
The League’s response: a modest fine, and a lost draft choice.
(Pete Rose won’t be allowed into the Hall-of Fame because he bet on baseball games, though he did this as a manager, not a player…He was banned for life and we don’t even know if his betting influenced his judgment as a manager. We know what the Patriots did gave them a competitive advantage but they receive not even a suspension of any kind…)
Many used to think boxing was the sport that was seen as tainted because of its apparent connection with organized crime.
Now, is it fair to say that most major professional sports are no better than boxing ever was in ethical terms?
What do we tell our kids?
Or do we bother to even have the conversation because it’s too late to change how we view sports, and the role of sports in society?
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Serena, athletes, and class
Venus and Serena Williams are unquestionably two of the finest tennis players ever. Athletic and strong, when focused and healthy they are almost unbeatable.
By all accounts they can be charismatic and charming. Not that these are essential qualities for what many define as “success” in sports (victories and material wealth) as the sisters are very wealthy, indeed.
But for many of us, we prefer sporting stars who are grounded, perhaps even a bit humble.
This is where one of the talented sisters hit a stumbling block recently. After losing a quarter-final match at the U.S. Open to Justine Henin, Serene was quoted as saying:
"I just think she made a lot of lucky shots and I made a lot of errors. I really don't feel like talking about it. It's like I don't want to get fined. That's the only reason I came. I can't afford to pay the fines because I keep losing."
This was not the usual comment made by players after a loss. Customarily players will at least grudgingly offer congratulations at the media conference, and at least concede that the winner played well.
So stunned was the U.S. media by Serena’s comportment at the press gathering, that many wrote stories which referred to Serena as “classless”.
Here is the rub. One the one hand, the media criticizes athletes who give pat, rehearsed, superficial answers. But at the same time, when a player steps off that line in a manner which does not please reporters, the response is often swift – and negative.
In my work with many athletes over the years it has become clear that there is a real pressure to be interesting when interviewed by the media, not to simply mouth clichés and the standard jock stuff.
Yet they all realize they are one strong opinion from being categorized in some negative manner by the media. And once an athlete has a “reputation” with the media, sometimes based on even one small incident, the issue can take on a life of its own.
One of the follies (though necessary, it seems) of the way we cover sports has always been the need to make athletes answer questions at moments of absolute frustration, immediately after a personal or team defeat. We expect them to say something of interest, but criticize them if they fall short of our imposed ideal.
Was Serena off base? Just being honest? Or both?
Would she have handled the questions a little differently if allowed to conduct the interviews a day later?
We’ll never know.
For now, it’s easy to criticize an athlete’s choice of words when they are tired and downhearted.
That said, graceful acknowledgement—even if somewhat forced and superficial—of the victor costs an athlete nothing, can enhance one’s reputation and can save a fair bit of aggravation.
By all accounts they can be charismatic and charming. Not that these are essential qualities for what many define as “success” in sports (victories and material wealth) as the sisters are very wealthy, indeed.
But for many of us, we prefer sporting stars who are grounded, perhaps even a bit humble.
This is where one of the talented sisters hit a stumbling block recently. After losing a quarter-final match at the U.S. Open to Justine Henin, Serene was quoted as saying:
"I just think she made a lot of lucky shots and I made a lot of errors. I really don't feel like talking about it. It's like I don't want to get fined. That's the only reason I came. I can't afford to pay the fines because I keep losing."
This was not the usual comment made by players after a loss. Customarily players will at least grudgingly offer congratulations at the media conference, and at least concede that the winner played well.
So stunned was the U.S. media by Serena’s comportment at the press gathering, that many wrote stories which referred to Serena as “classless”.
Here is the rub. One the one hand, the media criticizes athletes who give pat, rehearsed, superficial answers. But at the same time, when a player steps off that line in a manner which does not please reporters, the response is often swift – and negative.
In my work with many athletes over the years it has become clear that there is a real pressure to be interesting when interviewed by the media, not to simply mouth clichés and the standard jock stuff.
Yet they all realize they are one strong opinion from being categorized in some negative manner by the media. And once an athlete has a “reputation” with the media, sometimes based on even one small incident, the issue can take on a life of its own.
One of the follies (though necessary, it seems) of the way we cover sports has always been the need to make athletes answer questions at moments of absolute frustration, immediately after a personal or team defeat. We expect them to say something of interest, but criticize them if they fall short of our imposed ideal.
Was Serena off base? Just being honest? Or both?
Would she have handled the questions a little differently if allowed to conduct the interviews a day later?
We’ll never know.
For now, it’s easy to criticize an athlete’s choice of words when they are tired and downhearted.
That said, graceful acknowledgement—even if somewhat forced and superficial—of the victor costs an athlete nothing, can enhance one’s reputation and can save a fair bit of aggravation.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Baseball just can't save itself from its own stupidity...
Baseball is a passion in Missouri, evidenced by not only the tremendous history of, and fan support for, the defending World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals but also by the continuing interest in the struggling Kansas City Royal franchise-- years past their 1985 World Series glory.
In recent years the Royals have had (relatively speaking) low payrolls and non-competitive teams.
Yet fans still go to the beautiful ballpark (formerly Kauffman Stadium, after the respected former owner of the club) that is the home of the Royals, because they love baseball and love the Royals.
Now, the Royals are trying to build with youth, and lots of it.
They recently faced a dilemma. Their first draft choice in the 2007 summertime baseball draft (second overall) is a high school player represented by Scott Boras, an agent well-known for pushing the ‘demand envelope’ for unproven players.
That’s his “job”, of course: to get as much as he can for his clients.
But it does make a person wonder what the thinking process is for the young player and his family. In this instance, we are told, according to various media reports, that the player was seeking more than 3 million dollars as a signing bonus.
Keep in mind this young man, while projected to be an outstanding pro, has played only at the high school level.
Under the terms of the Collective Bargaining Agreement, if the player is not signed by the deadline, he goes back into the draft pool for 2008, provided he attends a Junior College and not a school in the NCAA.
Presumably he would then go to college for a year, and be drafted by a team that can afford to pay him what he wants the next time around.
Sadly, we have again hit a time when the salary expectations of athletes have become simply outrageous. We see salaries in the NBA, for example, that are long-term --and absurd. In so many cases we hear, within a year of the signing, that that NBA player can’t be traded because no one wants --or can afford-- his outlandish contract.
The NHL is clearly walking down the very same path that led to a lockout only three years ago. Salaries are climbing again, and for a league that can’t get a decent TV contract south of the border—much less find any real fan support even in markets where they actually have teams—this will surely prove a recipe for future disaster, however much revenues allegedly are growing.
And then there is baseball, where the players union and Bud Selig nearly killed the game in 1994, and instead of juiced balls produced juiced players to ‘save’ the game through the later1990’s and into the current era.
This is a sport that refuses to establish a legitimate salary cap, where one team can spend 200 million to buy players and other teams such as the Royals can barely field a Triple A- caliber team.
This sport has no effective rookie salary cap to prevent the absurd request of 18 year-olds who think they are “worth” millions of dollars before they even step on a pro field.
Who will step up—a player, an agent, a family, a commissioner—and say this is insane, utterly insane?
This is not to say this young player won’t become a fine professional player. In all likelihood, he will.
But if he does become a tremendous player, he will earn his millions in due course.
If he doesn’t, why over-pay before the young man establishes legitimate market value?
Here’s hoping that young ballplayers such as the one in question, if they choose to turn down huge money after being drafted because their agent feels it isn’t “enough”, head off to Junior College and play for free for a season, and then stay healthy. (To close the loop on this story, this particular young player signed for $4 million dollars at the signing deadline, almost a million dollars more than Major league Baseball’s “slotting” system suggested for the second overall selection.)
We’ve all heard the stories of players (and in some cases known players) who waited and waited and sat out for that big payday, only to suffer a serious injury and see their market value plummet overnight.
Hopefully this and other such stories will have a happier ending than at.
In recent years the Royals have had (relatively speaking) low payrolls and non-competitive teams.
Yet fans still go to the beautiful ballpark (formerly Kauffman Stadium, after the respected former owner of the club) that is the home of the Royals, because they love baseball and love the Royals.
Now, the Royals are trying to build with youth, and lots of it.
They recently faced a dilemma. Their first draft choice in the 2007 summertime baseball draft (second overall) is a high school player represented by Scott Boras, an agent well-known for pushing the ‘demand envelope’ for unproven players.
That’s his “job”, of course: to get as much as he can for his clients.
But it does make a person wonder what the thinking process is for the young player and his family. In this instance, we are told, according to various media reports, that the player was seeking more than 3 million dollars as a signing bonus.
Keep in mind this young man, while projected to be an outstanding pro, has played only at the high school level.
Under the terms of the Collective Bargaining Agreement, if the player is not signed by the deadline, he goes back into the draft pool for 2008, provided he attends a Junior College and not a school in the NCAA.
Presumably he would then go to college for a year, and be drafted by a team that can afford to pay him what he wants the next time around.
Sadly, we have again hit a time when the salary expectations of athletes have become simply outrageous. We see salaries in the NBA, for example, that are long-term --and absurd. In so many cases we hear, within a year of the signing, that that NBA player can’t be traded because no one wants --or can afford-- his outlandish contract.
The NHL is clearly walking down the very same path that led to a lockout only three years ago. Salaries are climbing again, and for a league that can’t get a decent TV contract south of the border—much less find any real fan support even in markets where they actually have teams—this will surely prove a recipe for future disaster, however much revenues allegedly are growing.
And then there is baseball, where the players union and Bud Selig nearly killed the game in 1994, and instead of juiced balls produced juiced players to ‘save’ the game through the later1990’s and into the current era.
This is a sport that refuses to establish a legitimate salary cap, where one team can spend 200 million to buy players and other teams such as the Royals can barely field a Triple A- caliber team.
This sport has no effective rookie salary cap to prevent the absurd request of 18 year-olds who think they are “worth” millions of dollars before they even step on a pro field.
Who will step up—a player, an agent, a family, a commissioner—and say this is insane, utterly insane?
This is not to say this young player won’t become a fine professional player. In all likelihood, he will.
But if he does become a tremendous player, he will earn his millions in due course.
If he doesn’t, why over-pay before the young man establishes legitimate market value?
Here’s hoping that young ballplayers such as the one in question, if they choose to turn down huge money after being drafted because their agent feels it isn’t “enough”, head off to Junior College and play for free for a season, and then stay healthy. (To close the loop on this story, this particular young player signed for $4 million dollars at the signing deadline, almost a million dollars more than Major league Baseball’s “slotting” system suggested for the second overall selection.)
We’ve all heard the stories of players (and in some cases known players) who waited and waited and sat out for that big payday, only to suffer a serious injury and see their market value plummet overnight.
Hopefully this and other such stories will have a happier ending than at.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
"Irate soccer mom brings game to screeching halt"
Irate soccer mom brings game to screeching halt
It’s not as though we have never seen this type of headline before.
But the particular details—a youth soccer game in July of this year involving kids under the age of 8, with a 14-year old referee—reflect a kind of “over-invested” attitude that many of us, as parents, need to address.
In this particular instance, a mother and father of a young player were charged with assault against the young referee.
By all accounts the local soccer Association dealt with the matter promptly and effectively. But after all the public discourse on the subject of parents fighting with coaches, referees, and other parents, we wonder: why does this kind of thing still happen?
While these “events” are not exactly common, they aren’t quite rare, either. Those of us who have stood on the sidelines at a soccer or baseball game, or in a rink at a youth hockey game, can readily attest that the emotional heat gets turned up pretty quickly, and way too often.
Any number of things can flip the switch—a young player who is perceived to be playing “dirty”; a coach who does not play a particular child as much as another player; a referee’s decision; a comment by a parent on the “opposing” team, and many other things.
All these are triggers, and because this generation of parents is so invested in our kids, it sometimes takes very little to get certain individuals going.
Those of us involved in the sports world, including the youth sports field, have made numerous suggestions over the years as to how this type of behaviour can be at least somewhat mitigated. For example, I wrote very widely published articles within the last two years on the subjects of “Soccer Sideline Etiquette” and “Hockey Rink Etiquette” for parents. The articles were overwhelmingly well received by sports organizations across Canada and the United States, but any of us who have written on this or similar subjects recognize that it’s not an easy problem to “solve”.
Many years ago minor hockey officials in Canada developed ad campaigns encouraging parents to take their kids to the rink to watch them play. The message was simple: spend time with your kids. A few years and many incidents later, officials encouraged parents to drop their kids off at the local rink—a clear indication that things had changed and that hockey officials now believed that parents served best as taxi drivers than as a loud, argumentative presence setting horrible examples from the stands.
It must be human nature: we all (or at least most of us) seem to think our kids are “better” than the other kids; deserve more playing time; always receive the bad end of referees’ decisions; are the ones that spend more time listening to other parents complaining than we complain ourselves.
Most of us would really benefit from actually looking in the proverbial mirror, and assessing if we contribute to the problems that often surface in youth sports. We may not be the person who harasses a 14-year old referee, but if we help create a toxic atmosphere on our son or daughter’s youth team, we are contributing to the problems that create the unhappiness that leads to these totally unacceptable outbursts.
It’s not as though we have never seen this type of headline before.
But the particular details—a youth soccer game in July of this year involving kids under the age of 8, with a 14-year old referee—reflect a kind of “over-invested” attitude that many of us, as parents, need to address.
In this particular instance, a mother and father of a young player were charged with assault against the young referee.
By all accounts the local soccer Association dealt with the matter promptly and effectively. But after all the public discourse on the subject of parents fighting with coaches, referees, and other parents, we wonder: why does this kind of thing still happen?
While these “events” are not exactly common, they aren’t quite rare, either. Those of us who have stood on the sidelines at a soccer or baseball game, or in a rink at a youth hockey game, can readily attest that the emotional heat gets turned up pretty quickly, and way too often.
Any number of things can flip the switch—a young player who is perceived to be playing “dirty”; a coach who does not play a particular child as much as another player; a referee’s decision; a comment by a parent on the “opposing” team, and many other things.
All these are triggers, and because this generation of parents is so invested in our kids, it sometimes takes very little to get certain individuals going.
Those of us involved in the sports world, including the youth sports field, have made numerous suggestions over the years as to how this type of behaviour can be at least somewhat mitigated. For example, I wrote very widely published articles within the last two years on the subjects of “Soccer Sideline Etiquette” and “Hockey Rink Etiquette” for parents. The articles were overwhelmingly well received by sports organizations across Canada and the United States, but any of us who have written on this or similar subjects recognize that it’s not an easy problem to “solve”.
Many years ago minor hockey officials in Canada developed ad campaigns encouraging parents to take their kids to the rink to watch them play. The message was simple: spend time with your kids. A few years and many incidents later, officials encouraged parents to drop their kids off at the local rink—a clear indication that things had changed and that hockey officials now believed that parents served best as taxi drivers than as a loud, argumentative presence setting horrible examples from the stands.
It must be human nature: we all (or at least most of us) seem to think our kids are “better” than the other kids; deserve more playing time; always receive the bad end of referees’ decisions; are the ones that spend more time listening to other parents complaining than we complain ourselves.
Most of us would really benefit from actually looking in the proverbial mirror, and assessing if we contribute to the problems that often surface in youth sports. We may not be the person who harasses a 14-year old referee, but if we help create a toxic atmosphere on our son or daughter’s youth team, we are contributing to the problems that create the unhappiness that leads to these totally unacceptable outbursts.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
"Do as I say..."
The National Football League, according to its own people, is looking to “clean up its act”.
League officials acknowledge the NFL — as popular as it is with fans and bettors every Sunday in the fall — has a lot of work to do to get rid of its image as a league with too many athletes who are greedy, selfish and too often in trouble with the law.
As this public relations initiative evolves to help the League smooth its rough edges, here comes a double dose of irony.
A large number of highly-respected former players, including Hall-of-Famers Mike Ditka, Bart Starr and Sam Huff have called on the League and the NFL Players Association to do more to help former players, many of whom are, by all accounts, in desperate need of financial assistance. The players from the 50’s and 60’s did not make “the big bucks”, and many have found the transition to life after pro sports very difficult. Quite a number have medical costs that they simply cannot cover.
Various reports persist in suggesting that the vast majority of today’s players have no interest in giving up any of the millions of dollars they earn annually to share with those who helped build the League before them.
Critics suggest the League and the Players Association should do more. Much more.
A lot of the criticism has been directed at long-time Players Association President Gene Upshaw, himself a Hall-of-Famer who earns more than a million dollars a year in salary.
In a recent ESPN.com story, Upshaw is quoted as telling the Philadelphia Daily news (in response to critical comments attributed to former Buffalo Bills guard Joe DeLamielleure) that, “A guy like DeLamielleure says the things he said about me, you think I'm going to invite him to dinner? No. I'm going to break his ... damn neck".
Many of DeLamielleure’s friends and fellow former players were quoted in the ESPN story as saying that the man they called Joe D should be concerned about the alleged “threat” from Upshaw. One former player is quoted as saying, “I don’t trust him (Upshaw) not to be violent.”
Here is a League, an institution, really, in the United States, working supposedly hard to clean up its image.
The guys who built the foundation upon which the League now stands are simply asking that some of the millions of dollars that today’s League and players are earning be shared equitably among former players in need.
When one of the leaders of the NFL “establishment” (Upshaw), doesn’t like the criticism they are receiving, they respond with the kind of public comment that makes even tough-guy ex-NFL types shudder.
In terms of the messages the League is communicating, it may be that the League itself, and its leaders, need to set the bar much higher in terms of its own attitude and behaviour, if it wants to set an example for its modern-day players to follow.
League officials acknowledge the NFL — as popular as it is with fans and bettors every Sunday in the fall — has a lot of work to do to get rid of its image as a league with too many athletes who are greedy, selfish and too often in trouble with the law.
As this public relations initiative evolves to help the League smooth its rough edges, here comes a double dose of irony.
A large number of highly-respected former players, including Hall-of-Famers Mike Ditka, Bart Starr and Sam Huff have called on the League and the NFL Players Association to do more to help former players, many of whom are, by all accounts, in desperate need of financial assistance. The players from the 50’s and 60’s did not make “the big bucks”, and many have found the transition to life after pro sports very difficult. Quite a number have medical costs that they simply cannot cover.
Various reports persist in suggesting that the vast majority of today’s players have no interest in giving up any of the millions of dollars they earn annually to share with those who helped build the League before them.
Critics suggest the League and the Players Association should do more. Much more.
A lot of the criticism has been directed at long-time Players Association President Gene Upshaw, himself a Hall-of-Famer who earns more than a million dollars a year in salary.
In a recent ESPN.com story, Upshaw is quoted as telling the Philadelphia Daily news (in response to critical comments attributed to former Buffalo Bills guard Joe DeLamielleure) that, “A guy like DeLamielleure says the things he said about me, you think I'm going to invite him to dinner? No. I'm going to break his ... damn neck".
Many of DeLamielleure’s friends and fellow former players were quoted in the ESPN story as saying that the man they called Joe D should be concerned about the alleged “threat” from Upshaw. One former player is quoted as saying, “I don’t trust him (Upshaw) not to be violent.”
Here is a League, an institution, really, in the United States, working supposedly hard to clean up its image.
The guys who built the foundation upon which the League now stands are simply asking that some of the millions of dollars that today’s League and players are earning be shared equitably among former players in need.
When one of the leaders of the NFL “establishment” (Upshaw), doesn’t like the criticism they are receiving, they respond with the kind of public comment that makes even tough-guy ex-NFL types shudder.
In terms of the messages the League is communicating, it may be that the League itself, and its leaders, need to set the bar much higher in terms of its own attitude and behaviour, if it wants to set an example for its modern-day players to follow.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Building your youth soccer team with real team players
I first created this piece in 2006, to help high-level youth coaches identify the distinctive characteristics they should look for in identifying athletes who will be real team players. The article has already been picked up by many sites, including the National Soccer Coaches Association of Canada (NSCAC).
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Building Your Youth Soccer Team With Real Team Players
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Building Your Youth Soccer Team With Real Team Players
15 traits — good and bad — that coaches should identify when looking for a true team player in youth sports
Is there anyone more passionate in the world of sports than a soccer enthusiast?
And if you coach youth soccer, you likely have a deep and abiding love for the game.
You also want your players to love the game, have fun and hopefully achieve some “success”.
For you, success means far more than wins and losses. Oh, you want to win. Any competitive person — young or old, coach, player or parent — generally wants to win, even in so-called “youth” sports.
But beyond that, you really do aspire to help build character in the young people in your care, and to build a team that plays hard and tough but fair.
So if you have the responsibility for selecting players for your all-star, select or “rep” teams, what are you looking for as you build this competitive young team?
Players with talent, to be sure.
Young athletes with a passion for soccer, absolutely.
But if you really want to have a “successful” team of young players, based on the above criteria, you will need to find true ‘team’ players.
So what are you looking for? What is a true ‘team’ player in youth sports?
True team players may not always be the most talented or naturally gifted players, but they make your team better by their sheer presence. The poor team player has an attitude that can spread like a disease, and over time can kill the harmony and chemistry that is often critically important in helping you attain the positive goals you have set out for your young squad.
Here, then, are some qualities, attributes, characteristics and/or behaviour patterns you will — and won’t— want to have on your team
1) Positive attitude
It’s an easy term to throw out there, but more than ever, in a generation filled with bulging egos and self-interest, a positive attitude — toward others and your team — is critically important in choosing an athlete for a high-level team.
What are tell-tale signs of a good — or bad — attitude in a young athlete?
- Does the player listen, or does he/she slough off input from coaches?
- Does the player have a strong work ethic all over the field?
- Does he/she have the ability to self-reflect, to really look at themselves in the mirror and see when they are not performing the way they should?
- Does the player work out on their own?
- Does the individual accept constructive criticism?
- Does the player work on their shortcomings, or only focus on the things they like to do or are good at?
As a coach, you can fill in the blanks with many other attributes relating to the importance of attitude.
In short, you want the player who will play a role when needed, accept the non-glory jobs, play (as much as is reasonable to expect of a young athlete) for the team more than simply for scoring goals or their own egos.
2) Work ethic
The willingness to work hard, really hard, to improve your skills is vital.
Pele was the world’s greatest soccer player, but also perhaps its hardest worker as he worked relentlessly to hone his abundant natural skills.
Wayne Gretzky was a hockey phenom, but worked and worked to get better every day from a very early age.
Does being a diligent worker make you a great team player? Not necessarily, if you don’t associate with and respect your fellow players.
But the vast majority of young athletes who work hard do so because they love the sport, truly want to be the best they can be, and by extension are great influences on their teammates.
Being a good teammate and team player is not necessarily being the most ‘popular’, but it can include setting important examples, especially in terms of work ethic.
3) Picking up and supporting a fellow player when they are down
The player you are looking for can identify when a teammate is struggling, needs a pat on the back, and a shot of confidence.
This is tough to expect when players are really young, but by the time a young person is 12 or 13, it is a quality that you can look for.
I remember a few years ago that I asked one of my clients, an NHL player, a question that I sensed he had never been asked before. I asked him if he could identify one player in his pro career who he thought of as a truly excellent teammate and team player, specifically someone who didn’t blame others and supported his own teammates when they were down.
He named James Patrick, the long time defenseman, who has had a quiet but lengthy and distinguished career in the NHL.
That has always stayed with me.
As a youth coach, you want to find as many James Patrick-type players as possible!
4) Helping other/younger players
This does not necessarily apply until older ages when say, a 13 or 14 year old is playing with older athletes, but it can be a very important attribute in an “older” youth player.
The great team player senses when a younger player is struggling, uncomfortable or anxious. He/she will spend some time with the younger player, talk with them, make them realize they are a part of the team, and generally include them in team activities.
I remember many years ago, when I was coaching a youth baseball team. One of my four sons was on the team. (Yes, I was one of those coaches with a son on their team!). There was quite an age spread on this particular team, 13 to 16.
During one game, I came down very hard on my son, in a way that I likely would not have with any other player. I unloaded. He accepted it and but was hurt and upset and quietly went to seek a quiet space in the corner of the dugout.
One of his teammates, a 16 year-old catcher and true team leader, quietly went over, knelt down in front of my son, took him gently by the shoulders and just spoke with him privately.
That response lifted my son’s spirits and made him feel much, much better, and also showed the quality of character of this young person.
That day, a 16-year old did a lot more for my son’s growth and development than I did.
He also reinforced for me what a true team player is, at any level of sport.
5) Showing genuine happiness when others succeed
This is hard for most of us as adults, so it is quite an expectation for us to have of a young athlete.
This is especially difficult during the tryout process, when players are obviously competing for positions on the team.
But once the final squad is selected, it is important that players support one another in good times and bad.
It can be particularly challenging to find joy in the success of your teammates, but if you can, it is a wonderful gift to share.
The coach who identifies a lot of players who can do this will have a strong team, on and off the field.
6) Negative body language
Visit any soccer pitch and you will see young players, very young players, demonstrate negative body language that must have been learned by example: an example perhaps set by watching older players on TV, or in their own homes.
Some specific examples of this behaviour?
Players shoot the evil eye at teammates when that other player is thought to have made a mistake; they throw their hands up in the air whenever an officials’ call goes against them or their team (it seems to be human nature to disagree with calls by referees on occasion, but when a player reacts repeatedly, it is a problem); they won’t look their coach in the eye, or simply tune their coach out. All these can be small but important signs that this particular player will let you — and the team— down at crunch time.
7) The selfish player
Selfish play doesn’t only show itself when a player won’t “pass the ball”. That does happen, and can pose a problem, of course, if a young player repeatedly refuses to look for the open man when the opportunity calls for it.
But selfish play shows itself in a variety of ways, and youth coaches need to be on guard. The player who incessantly harps at game officials is not a team player, because he/she is only hurting their team by complaining constantly to officials who, being human, may take out their own frustration against your team.
The player who constantly throws his hands up in the air when a call goes against him is being selfish. I recently saw a youth soccer player called for a foul in the middle of the field. No damage to his team, really. But after twice elbowing his opponent near the head and being called, he acted as though he had done nothing wrong, and proceeded to throw the ball out of bounds, delaying the game.
The referee promptly gave the player a yellow card.
Was that helping his team?
Again, the example is often set at the pro levels. When Tie Domi hit Scott Niedermeyer with a violent elbow to the head — for no apparent reason—in the dying seconds of a critical NHL playoff game a few years ago, many believe the thoughtless act wrecked any chances his team, the Maple Leafs, had of upsetting the favored New Jersey Devils. Domi was suspended for the senseless act, and rather than focus on a great game the Leafs had just played in victory, the media and the hockey world focused solely on Domi’s actions. A thoughtless, selfish play hurt his team, badly.
The Leafs lost the series.
8) The blame game
Perhaps it is a reflection of the way some professional athletes act out, or maybe it is that too many of us as parents have gone overboard in ‘supporting’ our own kids. Whatever, far too many young athletes simply look to blame others when things go wrong.
Rather than look at their own performance, they pick at teammates, blame others for goals that are scored, and generally fail to recognize their own errors while focusing on the ‘mistakes’ of others.
This attitude can spread like wildfire, and is highly toxic.
9) “I’m better than you”
Everyone is, of course, entitled to their own opinion. Stand on any soccer sideline at youth games and you’ll hear plenty of them.
Opinions become an issue, however, when parents start thinking their kid is better than everyone else’s.
And when the young players themselves act as though they are better than their teammates — either in the actual things the say, the tone they adopt when interacting with fellow players, coaches, or the way they exclude certain teammates on or off the field, it is a major problem.
Young players who think they’re great and better than everyone else and that others are the problem create an environment for failure, on many levels.
10) “I’ll play anywhere, coach”
Most every coach loves the player who is versatile, can play different positions and accepts tough roles.
Often, part of being a good team player is being the kind of player that a coach can count on to embrace sometimes low-profile but difficult assignments.
If you can find players with the willingness to take on different tasks, you’ll be doing well.
11) Humility
Genuine humility is difficult to find, at any age. We are all taught a kind of superficial, false modesty at a very young age, and that is socially encouraged, to a certain extent.
And human nature being what it is, we all have pride. That’s OK.
But developing a truly humble attitude is a wonderful trait in a young athlete.
To take pride in working toward or achieving a goal is generally a healthy thing.
But reminding him or herself that few if any athletes accomplish things totally on their own is a good thing for young athletes. You usually need helpful and supportive parents, excellent coaches, teammates who also strive to be better, as part of one’s support system.
Even world class athletes in “individual”, non-team sports such as gymnastics, figure-skating and swimming need the support of others to attain great things, whether that support is financial, emotional or otherwise.
Goodness knows the professional sports world is filled with individuals who think primarily of themselves. The youth sports world — and your team— can always do with some humility.
12) A focus on fitness
There is more to being a good soccer player than technical skills.
There is no question that if a young person wants to be an elite athlete, they need to get into outstanding physical condition, especially in soccer.
Is your potential player willing to do additional training on their own and with teammates, beyond games and practises?
Some may think that just being a soccer player —with all the running that entails— will keep you in top shape. In fact, to get to an elite level, to become the kind of player that won’t shut down late in a tough game, you need to be in better physical condition than the player opposite you.
By being in great condition, a young player won’t let themself down, and they won’t let their team down, either.
13) Welcoming “new” players to the team
There is often an awkward transition period for any athlete, but perhaps especially young athletes, when a player changes teams or joins a new team.
The young player may not know many of his/her fellow players and teammates, and there may be a period of discomfort.
The team player will welcome newcomers to the team, answer their questions, share experiences and generally offer a genuine and warm welcome, both on and off the field.
14) A player who shows respect for the coach, teammates and themselves
No player, from the youngest “house league” player to the star professional, will always agree with their coach.
Whether the issue is playing time, method of instruction, discipline, whatever, there will always be the possibility of disagreement.
But the team player will recognize that the coach may see the ‘big picture’ and will follow the coach’s plan for the team. This player doesn’t freelance and simply do his or her own thing..
The team player will do his or her best to adopt the strategic recommendations of the coach, and respect the coach’s philosophy — assuming, of course, the youth coach is of strong character with solid values.
(On this point, parents have every right to disagree with a coach, but those disagreements should be discussed privately, away from other players and parents.
If the conflicts cannot be resolved, the parents have the option of raising legitimate issues or concerns with a “higher authority” or seeking an alternate program for their son or daughter.)
Assuming good will on everyone’s part, the player with the team uppermost in mind will respect not only his coach, but also his or her fellow players. That final point should not be undervalued. A player who respects their teammates is worth their weight in gold.
This doesn’t mean there won’t be joking, camaraderie and even some healthy competition and occasional words of criticism. But if the basis of the relationship is genuine respect, then the relationship can build and flourish.
15) The follower
Not every person — or athlete— is a leader, so it is certainly not reasonable to expect that every young player will be a leader.
Our course, one thing to be aware of as a youth coach is the young player who is not only a follower, but who follows the wrong kind of example.
The follower is the one that easily falls in with negative peer influences, displays immature judgments or inappropriate outbursts with coaches, fellow players or officials, for example.
One influential player with a negative attitude can carry other players who fall into the ‘follower’ category with them, and that can seriously impede team harmony.
Final thoughts
Beyond these 15 points, there are, of course, other attributes as a coach that you will have taken note of over the years in building a youth team. But these 15 things give a coach some points to seriously consider, as they go about building a real “team” in youth sports.
A final thought: Too many teams are kept together from year to year in youth sports, because of a variety of factors, including politics, with no room for “new blood”.
This can be troubling for a couple of reasons. By almost automatically keeping the same players year after year, regardless of attitude or work ethic, players and their parents develop a sense of entitlement that they, without question, deserve to be on a particular team.
Also, a youth coach, in adopting this restrictive approach, may miss some players who would be excellent additions to their squad, and be real team players.
Unfortunately, the “tryout” process is often way too short. The longer a coach can carry on their tryout process, the better they will be able to identify the traits, qualities and characteristics that will help them locate players who are hidden gems.
And a team player is just that: a gem.
Michael Langlois, founder of Prospect Communications Inc., is the author of the book, “How Well Do You Communicate? A Guide to Better Communication with Players and Parents for Minor (Youth) Soccer Coaches”. Prospect’s web site is located at http://www.prospectcommunications.com. This article is copyrighted to the author and may not be reproduced without obtaining written permission. To inquire about licensing the right to reproduce any of the enclosed content email: inquiries@prospectcommunications.com
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Hockey Rink Etiquette for Parents
The body of this post is an article I wrote in 2005, and have updated annually.
This is one of our most requested articles, and has been picked up by dozens of Minor and Youth Hockey Associations across Canada and the United States. I thought it would be a good idea to include the article here, in the Prospect Communications blog.
The article offers simple but important advice directed at parents, but that will make the game much more fun for the youngsters who play the game at any level.
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As the days grow a little longer, the 2006-’07 minor hockey season will soon begin to wind down.
That said, it’s not too late for parents to end the season on a high note.
We all recognize that youth hockey is an intense game on the ice, and sometimes it can be just as intense — and tense — off the ice.
There, we see parents jawing at each other, at players, at coaches, at game officials. The temperature is a little too high in the building, and some of us parents can be a little too tightly wound.
While we all say it’s about “fun”, watching our own kids play can bring out the worst instincts that we have.
We all want our sons and daughters to play, to play hard, to play well, and — there’s that phrase again — have fun. We want them to be well-coached, play on a team that is competitive in their category, and benefit in a host of ways from being involved in competitive athletics.
Yet we, as parents, sometimes undercut how much fun our kids really have, and how much they will actually benefit.
This happens by and through our often toxic behaviour, especially during games.
Unfortunately, many of us don’t recognize our own negative behaviour. We only see it in others!
So here is a primer, a reminder, of little things that we can do at and around the rink this winter to make the hockey season more pleasant for all concerned — most importantly, for the kids.
15 things to keep in mind while watching from the stands this winter:
1. Let the coaches coach. If you are telling your son or daughter — or any other player for that matter — to do something different from what their coach is telling them, you create distraction and confusion.
2. It is very unnerving for many young players to try and perform difficult tasks on the ice on the spur of the moment when parents are yelling at them from the sidelines. Let the kids play. If they have been well coached, they should know what to do on the ice. If they make a mistake, chances are they will learn from it.
3. Do not discuss the play of specific young players in front of other parents. How many times do you hear comments such as, “I don’t know how that boy made this team….” or “she’s just not fast enough…”. Too many parents act as though their own child is a ‘star’, and the problem is someone else’s kid. Negative comments and attitudes are hurtful and totally unnecessary and kill parent harmony, which is often essential to youth team success.
4. Discourage such toxic behaviour by listening patiently to any negative comments that might be made, then address issues in a thoughtful, positive way. Speak to the positive qualities of a player, family or coach. It tends to make the outspoken critics back off, at least temporarily.
5. Do your level best not to complain about your son or daughter’s coaches to other parents. Once that starts, it is like a disease that spreads. Before you know it, parents are talking constantly in a negative way behind a coach’s back. (As an aside, if you have what you truly feel is a legitimate beef with your child’s coach — either regarding game strategy or playing time, arrange an appointment to meet privately, away from the rink and other parents.)
6. Make only positive comments from the stands. Be encouraging. Young athletes do not need to be reminded constantly about their perceived errors or mistakes. Their coaches will instruct them, either during the game or between periods, and during practices. You can often see a young player make that extra effort when they hear encouraging words from the stands about their hustle.
7. Avoid making any negative comments about players on the other team. This should be simple: we are talking about youngsters, not adults who are being paid to play professionally. I recall being at a ‘rep’ baseball game some years ago, when parent on one team loudly made comments about errors made by a particular young player on the other team. People on the other side of the diamond were stunned— not to mention hurt and angry, and rightfully so. Besides being tasteless and classless, these kinds of comments can be hurtful to the young person involved and to their family as well.
8. Try to keep interaction with parents on the other team as healthy and positive as possible. Who’s kidding whom? You want your child’s team to win. So do they. But that should not make us take leave of our senses, especially our common sense. Be courteous ‘till it hurts; avoid the ‘tit for tat’ syndrome.
9. Parents on the ‘other’ team are not the enemy. Neither are the boys or girls on the other team. We should work to check any negative feelings at the door before we hit the arena.
10. What is the easiest thing to do in the youth sports world? Criticize the referees. Oh, there are times when calls are missed, absolutely. And that can, unfortunately, directly affect the outcome of a contest. That said, by and large those who officiate at youth hockey games are a) hardly over-compensated, and b) give it an honest — and often quite competent — effort. At worst, they usually at least try to be fair and objective.
11. On that note, outbursts from parents on the sideline made toward the referees only signal to our on children on the ice that they can blame the refs for anything that goes wrong. Learning early in life to make excuses and to blame others is not a formula for success in sports — or life.
12. Yelling out comments such as “Good call, ref” or “Thanks ref” may only serve to alienate an official. The ref always assumes they made the proper call, that’s why they made it. Trying to show superficial support because the call went ‘your’ way is simply annoying to the officials, and to anyone within earshot.
13. The stands are for enjoying watching your child play, and the companionship of other parents— not for negative behaviour. If you want to coach, obtain your coaching certification and then apply for a job.
14. We all feel things and are apt to be tempted to say things to others — fellow parents, officials, our own kids — in the ‘heat of the moment’. But we don’t excuse athletes for doing inappropriate things in the ‘heat of the moment’ (there are penalties, suspensions, etc.) so we should apply similar standards to our own behaviour at the rink. Make yourself pause and quickly check yourself and ask: Will I be proud of what I am about to say or do when I reflect on it tomorrow?
15. The parking lot is not the time to ‘fan the flames’. Whether it is a coach’s decision, a referee’s call, a comment that was made, let it go. Don’t harass the coach or an official or a parent on the other team after the game is over. Go home, relax, and unwind. Talk positively with your child. Many of us have made the mistake of “chewing out” our own son or daughter on the way home for perceived poor play. The ride home is sometimes as important as the game itself. Make that time a good memory for your son or daughter by discussing as many positives as you can about him/her, their coach and their teammates.
*****
Michael Langlois, founder of Prospect Communications Inc., is the author of the following books: 1) A Guide to Better Communication for Minor Hockey Coaches, 2) How Well Do You Communicate? A Guide to Better Communication with Players and Parents for Minor (Youth) Soccer Coaches, 3) An NHL Prospect's Guide, 4) The Professional Hockey Coaches' Handbook, 5) The Job Interview Guide for Professional Hockey Coaches. The Prospect Communications web site is located at http://www.prospectcommunications.com/. This article is copyrighted to the author and may not be reproduced without obtaining written permission. To inquire about licensing the right to reproduce any of the enclosed content email: inquiries@prospectcommunications.com
Friday, May 25, 2007
A reminder from Clinton Portis
The U.S. legal system will determine if Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was in any involved in the so-called ‘dog-fighting’ scheme that his name has been allegedly linked to.
Almost as distressing was the reaction of a fellow NFL player, long-time running back Clinton Portis.
Before his team, the Washington Redskins, rushed to issue a public apology, Portis was evidently accurately quoted as saying (on ESPN.com) , "If that's what he wants to do, do it. I think people should mind their business."
The story goes on to say that when Portis was informed that dog fighting is a felony, he replied, "It can't be too bad of a crime."
Beyond the cruelty and uneccessary pain inflicted on animals stemming from this so-called “sport”, are we to believe that Portis’s attitude reflects a broader malaise about such activities?
Impossible to say, of course.
But young athletes would be well advised to keep certain thoughts to themselves.
While it is generally a good thing to be honest, engaging and open, though guarded, when interacting with reporters, situations like the one that has touched Vick should throw up red flags.
Perhaps Portis was simply saying what he really felt, that forcing dogs to fight one another is no big deal.
If so, while it is his right to hold such views, many would find those views at best disconcerting.
But to publicly express such views?
No wonder the Redskins scrambled to have him apologize publicly, and did so themselves as an organization the next day.
Almost as distressing was the reaction of a fellow NFL player, long-time running back Clinton Portis.
Before his team, the Washington Redskins, rushed to issue a public apology, Portis was evidently accurately quoted as saying (on ESPN.com) , "If that's what he wants to do, do it. I think people should mind their business."
The story goes on to say that when Portis was informed that dog fighting is a felony, he replied, "It can't be too bad of a crime."
Beyond the cruelty and uneccessary pain inflicted on animals stemming from this so-called “sport”, are we to believe that Portis’s attitude reflects a broader malaise about such activities?
Impossible to say, of course.
But young athletes would be well advised to keep certain thoughts to themselves.
While it is generally a good thing to be honest, engaging and open, though guarded, when interacting with reporters, situations like the one that has touched Vick should throw up red flags.
Perhaps Portis was simply saying what he really felt, that forcing dogs to fight one another is no big deal.
If so, while it is his right to hold such views, many would find those views at best disconcerting.
But to publicly express such views?
No wonder the Redskins scrambled to have him apologize publicly, and did so themselves as an organization the next day.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
When is a lie the truth?
A lot of my professional work over the past 20 years has been around helping athletes and coaches at all levels—amateur and professional—understand their professional responsibilities, be aware of the needs and realities of the media, and communicate/navigate through media and public scrutiny with as much integrity and credibility as they possibly can.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
It's Better to go fishing
By now most NFL observers and fans are aware of the events of the recent NFL draft, and the brick-like fall of Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn.
Quinn is a tremendously gifted athlete from a big name school, coached by a well-regarded former NFL coach at a prestigious college.
Quinn conducted what amounts to a media and public relations campaign to project himself as the deserving number 1 overall choice in the draft.
When he was not selected first, a confluence of events conspired to see his stock fall, such that he was not actually chosen until 22nd overall, though at least still in the first round of the football draft.
Readers will know that, as with the NBA draft, many of the top college players are invited to attend the NFL draft, and sit in the so-called “green room” awaiting their name to be called before they step out onto the stage and meet with commissioner at the podium and smile for the TGV cameras.
Quinn was indeed on hand in person, looking more pained by the moment as 21 names were called before him.
Interestingly, one fellow prospective choice, Joe Thomas of Wisconsin, chose to not attend the draft, spending the day fishing with his Dad and a friend. He was selected third overall and evidently found out about his selection later, by phone.
While Quinn, by all accounts, handled his ‘fall’ with about as much grace as a young person can under the circumstances, it brings to mind something that hockey guru Don Cherry stresses to young players every spring: you may want to consider not attending the NHL draft, unless you are absolutely – absolutely—certain your name will be called when you anticipate it will be.
(I say much the same to my young hockey clients. While it can be a once-in-a-lifetime thrill to be at the draft and hear your name called, it can also be a major disappointment when agents, coaches, scouts and friends have been telling you you’ll be drafted, and then you sit there and watch name after name called, and you’re dying inside with every pick…)
There is no question Quinn worked most of his young life toward that moment when his name would be called early in the NFL draft.
His ‘late’ selection still surpassed all those who were selected after him, and in rounds 2,3,4,5,6, and 7-- and those who played hard and well throughout their collegiate careers but were not selected at all, or even offered a free agent contract after the draft.
And Quinn’s sporting achievement surpasses those who would love to be in his shoes, but had not the talent, tenacity or support system that he had over many years.
That all said, a young athlete is sometimes wise to shun the spotlight, lessen his expectations, and when in doubt .............go fishing.
Quinn is a tremendously gifted athlete from a big name school, coached by a well-regarded former NFL coach at a prestigious college.
Quinn conducted what amounts to a media and public relations campaign to project himself as the deserving number 1 overall choice in the draft.
When he was not selected first, a confluence of events conspired to see his stock fall, such that he was not actually chosen until 22nd overall, though at least still in the first round of the football draft.
Readers will know that, as with the NBA draft, many of the top college players are invited to attend the NFL draft, and sit in the so-called “green room” awaiting their name to be called before they step out onto the stage and meet with commissioner at the podium and smile for the TGV cameras.
Quinn was indeed on hand in person, looking more pained by the moment as 21 names were called before him.
Interestingly, one fellow prospective choice, Joe Thomas of Wisconsin, chose to not attend the draft, spending the day fishing with his Dad and a friend. He was selected third overall and evidently found out about his selection later, by phone.
While Quinn, by all accounts, handled his ‘fall’ with about as much grace as a young person can under the circumstances, it brings to mind something that hockey guru Don Cherry stresses to young players every spring: you may want to consider not attending the NHL draft, unless you are absolutely – absolutely—certain your name will be called when you anticipate it will be.
(I say much the same to my young hockey clients. While it can be a once-in-a-lifetime thrill to be at the draft and hear your name called, it can also be a major disappointment when agents, coaches, scouts and friends have been telling you you’ll be drafted, and then you sit there and watch name after name called, and you’re dying inside with every pick…)
There is no question Quinn worked most of his young life toward that moment when his name would be called early in the NFL draft.
His ‘late’ selection still surpassed all those who were selected after him, and in rounds 2,3,4,5,6, and 7-- and those who played hard and well throughout their collegiate careers but were not selected at all, or even offered a free agent contract after the draft.
And Quinn’s sporting achievement surpasses those who would love to be in his shoes, but had not the talent, tenacity or support system that he had over many years.
That all said, a young athlete is sometimes wise to shun the spotlight, lessen his expectations, and when in doubt .............go fishing.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
If only Crosby can make it last…
Bobby Hull was one of the great ambassadors for the game of hockey from the late 1950’s throughout his entire professional career, which ended in 1980.
While there were reports of various off-ice issues over the years, Hull was nonetheless one of those sporting “heroes” who made the time to speak with fans, who would stand and sign autographs for long periods of time after games and practices, when teammates were long gone.
In a nice piece printed recently in the Ottawa Sun, columnist Don Brennan tells how, when the Penguins were in Ottawa to play the Senators, a group of youngsters, hoping to see Sidney Crosby, waved and held up signs as he was leaving the rink after practice. When security wouldn’t allow the young fans near the team bus, Crosby ventured off to meet with the youngsters, pose for pictures and sign autographs.
Shades of Bobby Hull, indeed. And in an era when so many athletes simply have no interest in the fans, and certainly wouldn’t make the time to sign an autograph unless they were paid to do so, it is at the very least refreshing to see Crosby handle his early fame in this manner.
If he can maintain his approach for another twenty years, we can speak of him in the same breath as a Hull, or even a Jean Beliveau, who has shown respect for the game and the fans long after his playing career came to an end.
This is a wonderful lesson for young athletes on one of the many off-ice/ off-field qualities it takes to become a real professional in any sport.
While there were reports of various off-ice issues over the years, Hull was nonetheless one of those sporting “heroes” who made the time to speak with fans, who would stand and sign autographs for long periods of time after games and practices, when teammates were long gone.
In a nice piece printed recently in the Ottawa Sun, columnist Don Brennan tells how, when the Penguins were in Ottawa to play the Senators, a group of youngsters, hoping to see Sidney Crosby, waved and held up signs as he was leaving the rink after practice. When security wouldn’t allow the young fans near the team bus, Crosby ventured off to meet with the youngsters, pose for pictures and sign autographs.
Shades of Bobby Hull, indeed. And in an era when so many athletes simply have no interest in the fans, and certainly wouldn’t make the time to sign an autograph unless they were paid to do so, it is at the very least refreshing to see Crosby handle his early fame in this manner.
If he can maintain his approach for another twenty years, we can speak of him in the same breath as a Hull, or even a Jean Beliveau, who has shown respect for the game and the fans long after his playing career came to an end.
This is a wonderful lesson for young athletes on one of the many off-ice/ off-field qualities it takes to become a real professional in any sport.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
"I can't do it all by myself!"
It’s remarkable how seldom professional athletes will really and truly take responsibility for their actions and/or performance.
Sometimes, on the rare occasions when they do, the response is rather peculiar. Case in point: recent comments by Ottawa Senators defenseman Joe Corvo. Corvo said publicly he has not played up to par this season, and a newspaper headline in the Ottawa Sun thereafter read, “Corvo too honest?”
Corvo’s coach went so far as to say, “you’re always a little surprised when a player admits to lacking confidence publicly”, essentially suggesting it would have been better for Corvo not to acknowledge his poor play.
Corvo responded by saying, “Guys (athletes) are kind of programmed to say robotic responses…I don’t think I’m the first one that’s been honest.”
Compare and contrast Corvo’s honest, if uncommon, self-assessment with the recent reaction of Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, after the Falcons finished a disappointing 7-9 and missed the NFC playoffs.
Said Vick, "I don't see how people can point the finger at me," he said. "I think I had a great season. ... I can't do it all by myself. I call myself Superman, but I really don't have the cape on my back. I can't change the game in certain situations. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't."
He’s not the first “star” athlete to decline accepting responsibility for the performance of the team he is paid handsomely to lead. Quarterbacks in particular accept widespread acclaim when their teams achieve success but some aren’t as keen to accept any criticism that comes their way when things go off the rails.
When an athlete says, “I can’t do it all by myself…” he is sending a terrible – and likely unappreciated— message to his teammates, especially when the words come from a so-called “team leader” such as Vick.
No athlete in a team sport – not Bobby Orr, Michael Jordan or Jim Brown—won games or championships on their own. Every player on their respective teams made contributions. Orr, Jordan and Brown may have shown their true greatness by helping make the players around them better, but those players nonetheless all made valuable contributions game by game and throughout the playoffs until the championship was won.
The moment an athlete starts thinking – and goes so far as to start saying publicly – he is “doing it all by himself”, chances are he is, emotionally, “losing” the very people he needs to achieve success, his teammates.
There is a wonderful life lesson here for young athletes – and for young people in general.
The real issue is not so much, perhaps, that Vick said what he said. Rather, the problem is that he felt that way in the first place.
How could anyone who has seen teammates work in the off-season, play through injuries and do their utmost to play at the highest level in their sport, has the support and guidance of top coaches to help him prepare to be successful every day, really feel as though he is “doing it alone”.
With this story as a backdrop, aspiring elite athletes would do well to look inside themselves, and do an attitude check.
If you think you’re doing it “by yourself”, think again.
And if you truly can’t convince yourself that you are not a one-man band, for goodness sake, don’t say so out loud.
You’ll lose the respect of teammates, coaches, scouts and fans—and anyone who had an interest in your career.
The Vick quote reminds me of a similar comment made by a young NHL draft prospect several years ago, when asked by the media why his “stats” had fallen off.
He said, “If I had better linemates and been given more playing time, I would have scored more…”
In one sentence, the player essentially trashed his teammates and his coach and publicly laid blame on others for his own shortcomings.
We all understand that teenage athletes may sometimes say things they shouldn’t. No one should be that programmed.
But that player likely lost something in the minds of his teammates, coaches – and the scouts who were assessing him—when he made that comment.
If you’re a parent, you may want to encourage your child not to follow the Michael Vick approach to leadership.
Sometimes, on the rare occasions when they do, the response is rather peculiar. Case in point: recent comments by Ottawa Senators defenseman Joe Corvo. Corvo said publicly he has not played up to par this season, and a newspaper headline in the Ottawa Sun thereafter read, “Corvo too honest?”
Corvo’s coach went so far as to say, “you’re always a little surprised when a player admits to lacking confidence publicly”, essentially suggesting it would have been better for Corvo not to acknowledge his poor play.
Corvo responded by saying, “Guys (athletes) are kind of programmed to say robotic responses…I don’t think I’m the first one that’s been honest.”
Compare and contrast Corvo’s honest, if uncommon, self-assessment with the recent reaction of Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, after the Falcons finished a disappointing 7-9 and missed the NFC playoffs.
Said Vick, "I don't see how people can point the finger at me," he said. "I think I had a great season. ... I can't do it all by myself. I call myself Superman, but I really don't have the cape on my back. I can't change the game in certain situations. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't."
He’s not the first “star” athlete to decline accepting responsibility for the performance of the team he is paid handsomely to lead. Quarterbacks in particular accept widespread acclaim when their teams achieve success but some aren’t as keen to accept any criticism that comes their way when things go off the rails.
When an athlete says, “I can’t do it all by myself…” he is sending a terrible – and likely unappreciated— message to his teammates, especially when the words come from a so-called “team leader” such as Vick.
No athlete in a team sport – not Bobby Orr, Michael Jordan or Jim Brown—won games or championships on their own. Every player on their respective teams made contributions. Orr, Jordan and Brown may have shown their true greatness by helping make the players around them better, but those players nonetheless all made valuable contributions game by game and throughout the playoffs until the championship was won.
The moment an athlete starts thinking – and goes so far as to start saying publicly – he is “doing it all by himself”, chances are he is, emotionally, “losing” the very people he needs to achieve success, his teammates.
There is a wonderful life lesson here for young athletes – and for young people in general.
The real issue is not so much, perhaps, that Vick said what he said. Rather, the problem is that he felt that way in the first place.
How could anyone who has seen teammates work in the off-season, play through injuries and do their utmost to play at the highest level in their sport, has the support and guidance of top coaches to help him prepare to be successful every day, really feel as though he is “doing it alone”.
With this story as a backdrop, aspiring elite athletes would do well to look inside themselves, and do an attitude check.
If you think you’re doing it “by yourself”, think again.
And if you truly can’t convince yourself that you are not a one-man band, for goodness sake, don’t say so out loud.
You’ll lose the respect of teammates, coaches, scouts and fans—and anyone who had an interest in your career.
The Vick quote reminds me of a similar comment made by a young NHL draft prospect several years ago, when asked by the media why his “stats” had fallen off.
He said, “If I had better linemates and been given more playing time, I would have scored more…”
In one sentence, the player essentially trashed his teammates and his coach and publicly laid blame on others for his own shortcomings.
We all understand that teenage athletes may sometimes say things they shouldn’t. No one should be that programmed.
But that player likely lost something in the minds of his teammates, coaches – and the scouts who were assessing him—when he made that comment.
If you’re a parent, you may want to encourage your child not to follow the Michael Vick approach to leadership.
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